The Internet Is Saying That Jimmy Butler Had Sex With Karl-Anthony Towns' Girlfriend And That Towns Is Forcing Butler Out Of Minnesota
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You know the rule. If the internet says it, it must be true. That’s just how the world works now. And from now until the end of time, it shall be remembered that Jimmy Butler stole Karl-Anthony Towns’ girl and got himself traded to like the Knicks or some shit. Far from the first time this has happened in the NBA and I would bet my life it wont be the last. But man, what an unexpected twist in the ever-evolving soap opera known as the NBA.
And honestly, we should have seen something like this coming. Jimmy wasn’t always the biggest fan of Towns. Matter of fact, Jimmy doesn’t appear to be a big fan of anybody who isn’t Jimmy. He called out Towns and Wiggins multiple times for not working as hard as he thought they should, and apparently the punishment for that is to get your girl’s cakes smashed to smithereens. Fair is fair, I suppose.
Who could have ever foreseen that THIS guy would be trying to steal your girl? Never in a million years could anyone have expected such.
Dwyane Wade knew that if he didn’t put his foot down Jimmy was going to go in for the kill. We also know why the Miami Heat weren’t on his preferred list of trade destinations. That reason, of course, being because a freshly-booted foot of Dwyane Wade would be awaiting his ass at the airport. But that wasn’t the only warning sign.
From Shams just two days ago:
There’s been a lot of uncertainty around Jimmy Butler all summer. He hasn’t been back to Minnesota. This is going to be a telltale week for him. Very much so, I’m told, this a last-ditch meeting for the Minnesota Timberwolves and Tom Thibodeau, and how they respond and how Jimmy responds to it will be interesting.
Karl-Anthony Towns, who’s one of the top talents in the league, has yet to sign to sign his rookie max extension, which should be a no-brainer. And I’m told there won’t be any decision on that until this Jimmy Butler situation resolves itself.
Notice it didn’t say, “Towns wont sign until Jimmy is brought back.” It’s worded very carefully. Towns wouldn’t re-sign in Minnesota until they got the bad man who stole his girl the fuck out of town. And I don’t blame Karl for taking such measures. If you’re a franchise player you get to decide who does and does not have intercourse with your girl. It just comes with the territory.
But now Jimmy, Karl, Thibs, and everyone has to ask – was it all worth it? Is being forced to leave Minnesota even a punishment? Where do the Wolves go from here? Does Jimmy Butler even have trade value now that the rest of the League knows he’s going to come into the locker room and cum inside of everyone’s spouses? So many questions, so many answers on the horizon. All this a week before training camp starts. I love the goddamn NBA.