Azalea The Smoking Chimp

Large10/07/2022 6:00 PM

Came across this gem while researching the history of tobacco for Twisted History... I thought it was bullshit at first, but it turns out to be a true story.

There is a 26-year-old ape named "Azalea the Chimpanzee" who lives in a North Korean zoo and smokes a pack of cigarettes a day.

Wong Maye-E. Shutterstock Images.

I can't believe this story hasn't been tackled here before (maybe it has) because I work with a handful of rascals who seem like they've spent an inordinate amount of time blowing weed smoke into the faces of their family dogs.

Giphy Images.

But back to the Korean monkey… It is believed that Azalea does not inhale, which is tough to confirm because… Well… You know… She's a chimp. But the zookeepers provide her daily with a fresh pack of smokes and a filled lighter that she uses by herself to ignite each dart.

Unless, of course, she's had an unusually tough day and is chain-smoking… In this case, Azalea lights a new one from the one she just dragged down to the filter.

Wong Maye-E. Shutterstock Images.

And because we can't have anything nice, animal activists like PETA have tried to put an end to what is probably the only pleasurable thing this animal has in its fucking miserable life saying it is "cruel to willfully addict a chimpanzee to tobacco for human amusement."

Which, a North Korean official responded by saying…

"We have a leader that executed his Vice Minister of the Army by obliterating him with a mortar round, took a flame thrower to his Deputy Minister of Public Security, showed off the headless body of his executed uncle, and assassinated his half-brother with the nerve agent VX at Kuala Lumpur International Airport during the morning rush… So we really don't give a single fuck if you do not approve of our smoking monkey."

That official has since been executed.