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Uber, Patriots, Chowder: Mr. Portnoy Aces Mental Exam

On today's Pardon My Take... MR. PORTNOY! The longtime recurring guest of the show joined Mr. Cat and Mr. Commenter to check in and discuss plenty of topics including being a Zoom expert, parody vs. parity, and most importantly, a mental test. At the beginning of the interview, Mr. Cat and Mr. Commenter gave Mr. Portnoy three words to remember throughout the duration of their conversation. What were those three words?

Uber. Patriots. Chowder.

Here is how the first quiz went down:

Mr. Cat: This is our test we're going to ask you later. 

Mr. Portnoy: No, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm telling you, I'm not doing that. I'm telling you why I'm not doing that. You're doing it so you can get some entertainment. 

Mr. Cat: No!

Mr. Portnoy: Yes, you are.

Mr. Commenter: Laughter is the best medicine, Mr. Portnoy. We're trying to make you feel better. 

Mr. Portnoy: It won't make me feel better because I'm going to flunk the freaking test again. I'm not doing it again. That is not going to make me feel better!

Mr. Cat: What were the three words?

Mr. Portnoy: Ubah, see I already forgot.

Mr. Cat: (whispering) Patriots.

Mr. Portnoy: Patriots.

Mr. Cat: (whispering) Chowder.

Mr. Portnoy: Chowder. 

Mr. Cat and Mr. Commenter: Yeah! There we go.

Mr. Portnoy: You gave me kind of a broad hint there. You were whispering chowder.

Mr. Cat: No I didn't. 

Mr. Commenter: Are you hearing voices? We didn't say anything.

Whether he received help or not, you can't argue with the fact that Mr. Portnoy started off his quiz 1-0. A few minutes later, the trio was discussing fracturing fingers, and then without even being asked, today's guest brought up the keywords again:

Mr. Portnoy: Yeah, well, I fractured the top of a finger. Believe me, that is not what is weighing on me right now other than chowder, Uber, and Patriots. 

Mr. Cat and Mr. Commenter: YEAH! YOU GOT THIS!

And finally, after that, a discussion about driving cars began...

Mr. Commenter: You got to drive it, you got to smell it. You got to do a 360 lap.

Mr. Cat: You got to feel it, you got to get your hands on it. 

Mr. Commenter: You've got to drive past like a reflective mirror-type glass and look at yourself in the car. 

Mr. Cat: See how you look, yeah.

Mr. Portnoy: Well, ever since I was drinking some chowder, and I knew about the Patriots and Uber...

Mr. Cat: Yeah! Yes...

Mr. Portnoy: I'm so happy, this is the happiest I've ever been. 

Mr. Commenter: You didn't want to do it! You didn't want to do this and look at you, you're killing it.

Well, there you have it folks. Mr. Portnoy was hesitant at first, but when it was all said and done, he officially aced this mental exam. Mazel Tov!