When CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin got suspended for pulling his dick out in the middle of a Zoom meeting and having a go at it, most of us took to social media to pluck some low-hanging fruit about a sticky situation.
Not Prof. Jonathan Zimmerman.
The Judy and Howard Berkowitz Professor in Education at the University of Pennsylvania's Graduate School of Education fired up his computer to write an op-ed for the New York Daily News defending Toobin's midday self-love sess against taboo-enforcing Internet jokesters.
"So let’s suppose Jeffrey Toobin had been caught on camera having sex with a partner instead of touching himself," wrote Zimmerman.
"Would he be the most mocked man in the United States right now?"
With all due deference to Prof. Zimmerman's erudite investigations of human sexuality, yes!
Yes he would.
Toobin tugging his toad isn't funny in and of itself. It's funny because he's an idiot Baby Boomer who doesn't know how to operate a webcam and ended up wagging his dick in the faces of his colleagues. Now, this episode -- more so than that time he allegedly had sex with the 20-something daughter of his CNN co-worker and allegedly offered to pay for an abortion and allegedly tried to dodge a paternity test -- will follow him forever.
Think about it: Toobin will someday have to do another Zoom meeting and everyone involved will be thinking about his five-finger-knuckle-shuffle. It'll be another pregnant moment Toobin will be all too eager to abort.
Prof. Zimmerman joined today's Kirk Minihane Show for a thoroughly interesting conversation about Toobin's transgression, post-Enlightenment views of masturbation, and why Kirk feels a burning desire to joke about self-gratification.