Deadspin isn't around to cry and wail in bitter fits of jealousy over Barstool Sports' epic valuation announced last week, but The Ringer's Bryan Curtis and David Shoemaker are here, for the time being at least, to pick up the slack.
Here's Curtis on the Press Box podcast reacting to the news that Dave Portnoy is now worth a bajillion dollars:
"We do this thing when someone or something is successful. We stop evaluating what they actually do and say, and say, 'hey well it sold for a lot of money, you really gotta hand it to them.' There is no reason to do this. Whatever you found loathsome about Barstool before the sale is still loathsome, and you're not getting any of that money Mr. Media Analyst. So, you know, you thought poorly of that empire and they way they built it, feel free to continue to think poorly about it. We do this thing all the time, 'oh they're rich,' well, okay, but they're the same guys with just more money. Why, why, why is that good? In some ways we should take the opposite lesson from that, right? I mean, I know it's nice not to have a media company basically thrown in the trash, as happens all the time now, but the idea that all that stuff worked is kind of depressing to me."
That Curtis is barely able to contain his jealous rage is clear. Less clear is what exactly he finds so loathsome about Barstool. Hardwork? Sacrifice? Talent? Some might say co-hosting a podcast where the participants laugh at victims of sexual assault and engage in victim blaming is loathsome. Others might say roasting every barely-eighteen female tennis player at Wimbledon over their physical appearance is loathsome. But that's Bill Simmons' business. On today's episode, Kirk Minihane rages over the mindless hypocrisy of the smug mediocrities at a podcast network that can only dream of sniffing Barstools' greatness. It should go without saying, of course, that no one wants these idiots "cancelled" -- we just want a little self-awareness and consistency.