The Final Weekend Of April 2019 Is Going To Be An Orgy Of Awesome Yet Terrifying Entertainment

Advertisement

I was blacked out in excitement like millions of other people when the new Avengers trailer dropped this morning even if my worst fears of C-Listers like Hawkeye and Ant Man playing a big role in the next movie seemed to be coming true. But who cares? We officially got a taste of the follow up to Infinity War and it was glorious.

Then I thought about it for a minute. Game of Thrones is coming back in April as well, potentially the same weekend as Avengers. Then I got scared. There is a very good chance that the weekend of April 26th is the biggest bloodbath for beloved characters in the history of fiction. We already know what happened in the first Avengers. Half the goddamn universe got wiped off the map with the snap of a finger, including some of our favorite superheroes. But we also know that a bunch of them are coming back because they are signed to longterm contracts to make movies that are going to print money for Disney while others just had their contract run out, which likely means their character is dying or going in another direction. So we are probably going to be mourning some Avengers that won’t be coming back during the credits of Endgame.

We don’t know when Thrones which date in April Thrones will be premiering, but you know someone big is probably going to die every episode. So there is a scenario where we are burying Thor, Captain America, Tyrion Lannister, and Arya Stark all on the same weekend. A true nerd’s nightmare. There is also a chance that Thrones premieres April 28th AKA 2 days after Endgame drops and causes idiots like myself to be locked in a glass case of emotion for an entire weekend.

And in case all this wasn’t enough or you somehow hate Game of Thrones and Avengers, the NFL Draft kicks off on Thursday April 25th, the NBA and NHL playoffs will have started, and the baseball season will be cooking for a few weeks by this point. Oh yeah and Easter candy will be 75% off at your local pharmacy since Easter will be the Sunday before. You know how many Cadbury Mini Eggs (the GOAT Easter candy) I can binge while nervously watching to see if my girl Sansa survives or if my beloved Giants will be shamed for not drafting a quarterback that nobody will know is good for years?

That number has not been invented yet.

We hear all the time how October is the greatest sports month and that might be the case. But the weekend of April 26th 2019 may go down as the greatest weekend of entertainment from sports to movies to TV in the history of mankind. So President Trump, President Putin, Whatever The Fuck You Are Kim Jong-un and leaders of the other nuclear powers around the globe. Please try to avoid doing anything that will wipe humanity off the map until at least April 29th and preferably June of 2019 or whenever Thrones wraps up. Once we know how Westeros was won (or lost), feel free to do whatever you like.