Puppies, Fish & Bare Chests: The 2019 Putin Calendar Has Arrived

If you want to get a jump on the holiday shopping & need a stocking stuffer the whole family will enjoy if they don’t mind an often topless, slightly-murdery corruption vibe, look no further.

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Putin, 65, is seen holding a fish, a puppy, shirtless, dressed up, dressed down, playing ice hockey, dipping into icy waters, looking sad with an umbrella, looking stern with a tiny glass-domed dish of food… It’s every season of Putin for every season of Nationalist life. I looked on eBay & you can get it for only $21.99.

From TIME:

Russian state propaganda has carefully nurtured an image of Putin as an accomplished athlete and a paragon of masculinity. Images of Putin’s adventure holidays in the country’s remote regions frequently circulate in Russian media, many of them boasting a shirtless Putin engaging in outdoor sports like fishing and hunting.

The 2019 calendar is the latest edition in what has become a popular annual series: copies of a 2016 calendar published by a Russian tabloid newspaper sold out in Moscow, according to CNN.

Personally, I like to think of Putin as wearin’ a Tuxedo T-shirt, ’cause it says, like, “I want to be formal, but I’m here to party too.” I like to party, so I like my Putin to party. I also like to think of Putin with like giant eagles wings and singin’ lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an Angel Band, and ‘m in the front row, and ‘m hammered drunk… Let me know when a calendar of his with more of that kind of style comes out. Until then I’m sticking with my usual.