LaVar Ball Talked Circles Around Chris Cuomo On CNN Last Night
I don’t know what I just watched but it had me laughing the entire time because it was just so ridiculous. Chris Cuomo asking begging for LaVar to thank Donald Trump for freeing LiAngelo from China and LaVar saying he doesn’t thank people unless he has a reason to while also sprinkling in some of his WWE-level mic skills. It basically was a dog chasing its own tail for 25 minutes while also being the biggest mismatch I have seen since Buffalo Bill scrambled Tex’s brains on the 2nd floor.
Yet despite all that, anyone who watched it still felt like this at the end.
I admittedly didn’t know who Chris Cuomo was before this interview. He just looked like an older, battle worn Dennis Reynolds to me.
But according to Feits, Cuomo is one bad mamma jamma that eats tear gas for breakfast. If you are going to debate a man that says he could beat Michael Jordan in 1-on-1 despite averaging 2 points per game in college, you better have that type of mentality.
As soon as the interview started, you knew this was LaVar’s night when CNN introduced him as a Former Athlete.
However LaVar not wearing even a THREAD of Big Baller Merch was the biggest upset ever. I’m still flabbergasted about that. Vegas didn’t even have that option on the board. I figured Lakers color Big Baller gear was the favorite in the clubhouse after Lonzo’s triple double last night, with a new stars and stripes BBB shirt coming in as the darkhorse.
Nope, instead we got Fancy LaVar. Portnoy would straight up murder any employee at this company if they weren’t wearing Barstool gear during an interview like this. And to be fair, he has walked the walk.
Anyway, LaVar was feeling himself right off the bat when he put Cuomo’s mind into a blender with a riddle for the ages.
From that point on, Cuomo was at best playing catchup and at worst dead in the water.
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He tried to get back into things forcing LaVar to say Thank You, but LaVar obviously flipped the script and had Cuomo thanking him.
And not only thanking him but asking why he was thanking him. It’s like when your kid says sorry and you ask them why they are sorry just to hammer the point home. Just as emasculating as it gets. Once LaVar starts smiling as you talk to him, you’re toast. Trapped in quicksand. You are officially in the Big Baller Zone, which is like the Upside Down in Stranger Things except there is no way out unless you surrender to LaVar and fall victim to his charm. Then he starts figuratively hitting you with your own hand and tells you to stop hitting yourself.
Around this time is when LaVar Ball started trending like crazy in any part of the country that mattered.
Live look at BBB stock.
Once Cuomo let out that his nickname was Mo, LaVar went for the kill.
Google Chromo!!! You don’t become the CEO of the hottest new athletic brand on the planet without being able to think on your feet. Throw in the hood name with that patented LaVar charm and you knew the shark was circling it’s prey before unleashing the greatest sign off in TV history.
Game, Ballers.
Every interview like this must have a winner and a loser and I think we all know what the judge’s cards say.
And you know what? I bet this isn’t the end of all this. This was just the appetizer. Shit, I wouldn’t be shocked if Trump invited LaVar Ball to the White House to talk about this in person. Maybe even on Thanksgiving Day. Trump’s just as big a showman as anyone else in the world. He can appreciate an electric personality like LaVar Ball when he sees it. LaVar may have even had a cabinet position if he had come into the public eye a year earlier. And LaVar won’t go all Golden State Warriors and turn down the White House invitation. He’s even on the record that he would say Thank You!
I’m telling you, this all ends with Trump and LaVar joining forces. I don’t know how or when. But I’ve seen this angle countless times in the WWE and it always ends up with a, for lack of a better word, #superteam.