World Famous Prophet LaVar Ball Guarantees That LeBron Will Never Win A Title In L.A. If The Lakers Trade Lonzo
Look, I know when I am essentially watching junk food TV like the Jerry Springer Show or Cops, which is the epitome of LaVar Ball joining Skip Bayless on *googles what the name of Skip’s show is again* Undisputed. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it. Breaking out Trade Deadline LaVar hours before NBA GMs have to put down their pencils is what being a sports fan in 2019 is all about. Yeah, you can still be someone that cares more about grown men competing in athletic competition or the numbers that go behind that stuff. But the WWF aspect of all this shit is what really gets the needle moving, especially in the NBA. I bet Skip may have even beat Bubble Guppies in the ratings this morning with Big Var dropping knowlede. Because when LaVar Ball speaks, you listen. You know why? Because he speaks things into existence. He spoke Lonzo going to the Lakers into existence and last I checked, Lonzo is on the Lakers roster (even though we haven’t seen him for a bit).
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And now LaVar just spoke LeBron going ringless as a Laker into existence IF they trade Lonzo. The man is a soothsayer and a prophet that makes a profit (example: Bringing his Lithuanian bottled water on the set is a business savvy move that would make Portnoy blush). You think the Warriors are LeBron’s biggest obstacle to giving the Lakers another Larry O’Brien trophy? Nope! It’s the Biggest Baller with the biggest mouth that always ends up being right standing in Bron’s way. I know LeBron has been dreaming about playing with Anthony Davis for months and has already planned out his first three subtweets if he is unhappy with AD’s play. But King Bron better think twice about trading Lonzo in a deal if it he gets hit with a LaVar Curse from a vengeful LaVar Ball (even though every Laker with a 70+ Overall rating in 2K likely already hates LeBron’s ass).
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