Just a Quick Reminder That Mickey Mantle Was Quite Possibly The Most Savage Human Being To Ever Walk The Earth
It’s a lazy Summer Sunday and most of us haven’t moved from bed as we do absolutely nothing, but watch TV. For whatever reason the famous Mickey Mantle “Outstanding Experience” letter is circulating again so I just thought I’d remind everyone how incredible a human being the All-American Boy was.
Could you imagine if someone these days had the balls to write this to a high up executive or commissioner in pro sports? Gronk, LeBron, Ovi, Brady, Jeter, anybody? Bob Fishel got absolutely bodied with this letter. He probably got a ton of normal responses like “that time I hit that walk-off home run” or that time “I threw that time we won the World Series.” You’d think Mickey would reflect on the crazy 1961 season with Maris as they chased each other for the home run record or maybe winning one of his seven World Series championships at the stadium, right?
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Nope, Mickey’s favorite memory was getting a blowjob in the right field bleachers during a game he couldn’t play in because of a pulled groin. Sadly Mickey couldn’t do the sex thing because of said pulled groin which was a true tragedy to all parties involved. Did this actually happen in broad daylight during a game? Were things that care-free back in the day? I need a video so badly to see what the surrounding crowd was like.
We think Gronk is hilarious because of his constant 69 jokes. Well, he doesn’t hold a goddamn candle to the All-American Boy. The quotes this man said during his life were incredible.
-I’ll play baseball for the Army or fight for it, whatever they want me to do.
-Somebody once asked me if I ever went up to the plate trying to hit a home run. I said, ‘Sure, every time.’
-If I had played my career hitting singles like Pete (Rose), I’d wear a dress.
-It’s unbelievable how much you don’t know about the game you’ve been playing all your life. (personal favorite)
I always say that if there was one guy’s life to relive it’d probably be Mantle’s. Dude lived a good 63 years (plenty long enough for me), had clearly an unbelievable time doing it, was married to the hottest girl in the game Merlyn Mantle (alright maybe a stretch), and was one of the best Yankees to ever play the sport of baseball. A true legend in every aspect of life. What more do you want really? This letter is not breaking news by the slightest, but I just thought I’d remind you how savage a human being Mantle truly was.