Undiagnosed Human: Ref Daddy
Going into the weekend I thought it would be nice for you all to watch some hilarious feel good content. A few years back when I was still kicking balls in the NFL, I was introduced to a brand new ball boy from IUPUI. Every year the equipment staff hires college students to work with the team part time, guys carry our travel bags, do laundry, pack the truck, and us kickers had someone who carried our balls on game days. The NFL’s unsung heroes are these folks. The show does not go on without them. For the ball holding duties for Vinatieri and I, t’was normally a guy who was very quiet and didn’t want to piss anyone off… and then Austin Taylor came around.
He was quiet early, but once he loosened up he showcased a beautiful soul. He was funny, quick witted, had incredible confidence, and I immediately looked forward to seeing him every weekend. If you judge a book by it’s cover, you’d look at Austin and think I have never seen a body built like that… and you’d be right. His back is bent the opposite direction. After a few weeks of friendly banter with Austin I finally garnered enough courage to ask “Hey Austin, why is your back bent that way?” He responded quickly, “BDS.” I said, “What is BDS?” He quipped, “Big dick syndrome. My dick is so large, that it made my back bend the opposite direction.”
I obviously laughed hysterically. I was crying from laughter in the middle of warmups and I was so happy to see that he had a personality about it all. After games, he would always stop by my locker to dap up before we left. As we were saying our goodbyes, my inquisitive brain wouldn’t let me not say, “Hey man, I loved your BDS response, but what really is going on with your back?”.. “When I was a baby, my parents took me to many doctors and specialists to run tests on my muscles, bones, etc.. They couldn’t find anything thru the tests and what not, so they declared it “undiagnosed” which means there’s no name for it. My friends and family have titled it “Austism”, a nice mix of my name and autism, but to be honest nobody has a clue what condition I have that causes my strength, range of motion, speed, balance, and all other aspects of my physical life being limited. But I don’t give a shit man. I’m just living”
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When I announced my retirement on Comedy Central, one of the first text messages I received was from Mr BDS himself.. “Hey Pat, not sure if you’ll be hiring or not, but if you need a big dicked, undiagnosed human on your team, I’d love to be your guy.” I told him he had an internship available whenever he wanted. Our interns just started this week, and “Daddy” is one of them. Here’s his first piece of content. #RefDaddy “I can’t play basketball, but I can definitely ref that shit, I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.”
Cheers to living life without limitations Austin “Daddy” Taylor. I love you brother.