The Running Of The Porta Potties While Getting Full Beers Pelted At Your Head At Preakness Is What It's All About

Apple pie. The Constitution. The Running of the Porta Potties. 3 things that make America what it is today. And tomorrow the annual tradition of drunk kids from the Northeast getting inebriated beyond all belief and running along the porta potties at Pimlico returns.

I suggest going to Preakness exactly once. The Preakness is the red headed step child of the Triple Crown. If the official drink of the Kentucky Derby was a fine wine, the official drink of the Preakness would be Natty Light. For years Preakness was BYOB..which translated to “fill up wagons and shopping carts with as many 30 packs as possible and we trust you won’t drive home”. Apparently things didn’t work out, because now it’s just “all you can drink” instead of BYOB, a very obvious solution!

So now said drunk kids from the Northeast don’t get full cans pelted at their heads like a scene out of Jarhead…

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…They just…run…and then die on their own.

Good luck to all you crazy cats braving the infield of Preakness tomorrow. It’s a hell of a time.