The Chicago Bears Ended Minicamp Today By Having All The New Kickers Try The Cody Parkey Field Goal And Take A Wild Guess How That Went

I’m not crying because it’s May and the Cubs can’t stop fucking people up so instead I’m just going to laugh a Big, Rich, Laugh

Actually fuck it what do you want me to say? I’m hanging on by a thread here with the Bears kicking game. The other day I was in an Lyft (because Uber sucks) home from Wrigley and the driver made me face time his wife BECAUSE DAMN DAWG YOU THE CODY PARKEY BRO.

Advertisement

Yeah and I’m aware that maybe I cursed the organization as it appears 43 yarders is now the longest fucking distance in the planet for any and all Chicago Bears kickers.

If it comes down to it and even if it doesn’t, I have no problem sacrificing White Sox Dave to the Football Guy Gods to reclaim our accuracy from 40-49 yards. I’ll do it.

All I ask in return is someone with a decent kicker on their team… Ravens, Patriots, ’98 Eagles, etc. Can you tell me… do you take it for granted? Like when Gostkowski trots out for 43 yards does the idea of him missing even cross your mind? What about when there’s less than 2 minutes and your team is driving for a game tying FG. Are you begging to God for the ball inside the 20 or is it more once over the 50 yard line you know it’s going to OT?

Honestly I just want to know what it’s like to not hate your kickers’ fucking guts inside and out.

Robbie Gould where are you?