Someone Stole A Modelo Truck On The South Side Yesterday

Chicago Tribune - A truck filled with Modelo beer that was stolen when the driver left the keys in the ignition has been found in south suburban Calumet City.

No beer was missing and there were no empties lying around, said Chicago police spokesman Tom Ahern.

Shortly after noon, police found the tractor-trailer abandoned in Calumet City. It hadn’t crashed and its contents were “intact,’’ Ahern said.

It was last seen cruising west on 95th Street, and police issued an alert to the near south suburbs to watch out for it. Police considered using a helicopter in their search but it was too windy.

This got me to thinking…is stealing a beer truck part of the American Dream?

We’ve all walked past one of these suckers on a hot Summer day and saw the driver loading crate after crate onto his dolly and then take them into the store. The trucks just sitting there with the side doors open and there’s just a shit ton of cold beer staring you in the eyes. You instantly find yourself with that euphoric thought of how amazing it would be to snag all of that beer.

(I hope I’m not alone on this?)

I mean the thought was definitely more prevalent when you were younger because you weren’t able to buy beer back then, but nevertheless it still always crosses my mind. Fuck a house and a white picket fence. Give me a million crates of beer for me to stock up instead. Just toss it all in your garage, and look at your buddies’ face when they see it all after you pull open the door.

I don’t know what I’d do with the truck, but that’s a thought for later. The thought in the present is only about how sweet the score would be.

Or maybe I’m just a fucking weirdo. Both could be true.

P.S. – Many people are saying that this was a well planned heist to sell people these Modelos for Cinco De Mayo. Don’t hate that conspiracy theory at all.