Kim Jong Un Used A Cargo Plane To Bring His Toilet To Singapore So Sewer Divers Cant Steal His Poop

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un’s flight to Singapore was a tightly planned maneuver using a decoy to throw attackers off the scent. Three planes took off in North Korea at about an hour’s interval on Sunday — an IL-76, an Air China Boeing 747 and an ancient Ilyushin IL62 – leaving watchers in the dark about which one Kim was on.

One diplomatic source in Singapore said, “Tension was very high in North Korea, hence the secrecy.” Kim’s own aging Soviet-era aircraft carrying Kim’s sister Yo-jong and other officials followed later.

First to arrive in Singapore was an IL-76 transport plane carrying food and other essentials for Kim as well as his bullet-proof limousine and a portable toilet that will deny determined sewer divers insights into to the supreme leader’s stools.

We are beyond lucky to witness this tour as it happens. Can you imagine being deprived of little nuggets like this because social media and internet journalism weren’t a thing? I cant.

I love the fact that Kim Jong Un is bringing a portable toilet. More so than that, I love that someone will have to guard his shit. There will be a North Korean who is responsible for guarding Kim Jong Un’s shit while it festers in the toilet.

“Hey, fella. Whatcha doin?”

“I cant allow you to go in there,,,, it’s sensitive.”

“Just let me take a peek.”

“I cant. That’s the

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poop room.”

Yesterday I was wondering if each butthole in the world was like a person fingerprints. If the striations and whatnot of the butthole spokes was left on the poop. Maybe the North Koreans think that too and they are worried that someone has their Dear Leader’s buttholefingerprints. If that’s the case, you can glean all kinds of information. You’d know what he drank, ate, and shoved up there for pleasure.

Cant have that information getting out there, especially not when you are set to meet face to face with Donald Trump.