A Stinky 10 Million Pounds Of Poop Are Stranded In Rural Alabama After Being Shipped From Other States

As they say in the plumbing biz, that’s a lot of shit, folks. Poor Alabama. Hate to see a state like Alabama with its rich traditions being dragged through the gutter with this breaking news. Now, I’m on the record as calling a dollar a dollar but you gotta be careful that it isn’t a poop dollar when you pick it up.

I think it’s fine to import 1 million pounds of poop from various locales throughout our beautiful land. Purple mountains majesty and whathaveyou, but you gotta be cognizant of the taste in your mouth that 10 million pounds of poop leaves. Not good.

Additionally, I do not appreciate the trolling from the train company. You’re a train company, not a trolling trolly. Paint over those EPIC letters on the side. No reason to rub the train’s face in it. It’s not a puppy. Each train is a person with feelings. #StopBullying2017