This Dude Wants To Show His Dick In Court To Prove It's So Big It Choked His Girlfriend To Death

(Source) – A man has demanded a judge allow him to show his penis to a jury to prove his girlfriend choked to death during oral sex. A Florida court is considering the request made during the trial of Richard Henry Patterson. The pensioner is accused of murdering his girlfriend in her bedroom in October 2015. He claims 60-year-old Francisca Marquinez’s death was an accident that occurred during a sex session. The 65-year-old from Margate, on the Floridian south coast, has previously admitted choking his girlfriend but never explained how, the local Sun Sentinel reports. His attorney, Ken Padowitz, has told the court that the size of his member is a key factor in the defences case. Padowitz wrote in his motion to the court: ““Dr. Ronald Wright, an expert witness and former Broward County medical examiner, will testify that … her death is consistent with being accidentally sexually asphyxiated during oral sex.

This is obviously a sad story because a person died but oh man is Richard Henry Patterson the luckiest guy who’s ever allegedly killed a woman before. If this all works out and he is allowed to show his dick to the jury and their reaction is “Oh yeah. Wow. Whoa. That thing could definitely kill someone,” then he’s gonna be the most sought after penis in Florida’s south coast. That’s the pickup line to end all pickup lines, “hey babe, my dick is so big it literally killed someone and a jury agreed.” Can’t take a step outside without women throwing themselves at you when you’ve got a lethal weapon in your pants. Girls love some healthy competition and you gotta imagine they’d love to hang their hat on the “I took a killer dick” rack. You ever had your girl tell you she’s sore in the mooring? Best feeling ever, right? Well not anymore, now it’s a jury of your peers telling you that you’re packing a WMD.

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And I’ll tell you what, if this is actually what happened then shoutout to this guy’s ex-girlfriend too. If she accidentally choked to death on a penis then that’s gotta be one of the most outrageous BJs that have ever been given. Come up for air? No thank you, I’ll die for this game.

PS – I don’t even need to see this guy’s dick to believe him. This is absolutely the confident smirk of a man with a hammer. You can see the only thought that’s ever on his mind is, “Oh buddy do I have a penis on me.”