The Pats Might Be In Some Trouble: First Graders Are Giving The Jaguars Gameplans

ESPN — Everybody, it seems, has a theory on how the Jacksonville Jaguars can beat the New England Patriots in Sunday’s AFC Championship Game. Including some Jacksonville first-graders. A folder filled with notes, messages and encouragement from the entire first grade at the Bolles School was delivered Thursday to Jaguars head coach Doug Marrone, who brought the folder with him to his news conference. The folder’s cover included a drawing of quarterback Blake Bortles, another player and the following message: “Dear Jags, Want to beat the Patriots? Here’s how …….. Advice from your #1 fans in Bolles First Grade.”

Look I’ve been confident all week. Not supremely confident, not “there’s absolutely zero chance we lose this game confident,” but a reasonable confident. I’ve been a “Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, 5x Super Bowl champions, are playing the Jacksonville Jaguars at home in their seventh straight AFC Championship” confident, and I think that’s fair. But now? I’m not so sure. How could I be? That’s sound advice. It’s A1 shit. If the Jacksonville Jaguars (I don’t know why I always say their full name, it’s weird and doesn’t make sense, but it’s what my fingers automatically do) go out there intercept the ball, score touchdowns, and stay on their man than the Patriots are pretty fucked. There’s no two ways around it.

Only problem with the advice from the children, and this is a big one, is the diet. Sure, chicken and white mean is good for you. Great for you, in fact. But they left out an awful lot of the TB12 method there. Didn’t mention anything about avoiding nightshades and strawberries, didn’t say squat about drinking 1.5 of your bodyweight in ounces of water, just chicken. Hopefully the Jacksonville Jaguars stick to that partial advice and eventually their bodies fail them. It’s the Patriots only hope.

Enjoy your heirlooms, Jalen Ramsey!