Spinners Are All The Rage On PornHub (No, Not The Midget Kind)
(Source) – These little gadgets are everywhere, so of course they’re also making their way into adult entertainment. New data from Pornhub reveals that there’s been a big surge in interest in fidget-friendly porn in recent weeks. Pornhub says that at their peak, searches for “fidget spinner” were up 282 percent over the average. They started to climb on May 10th. In the 10 days that followed, there were 2.5 million searches for videos involving the gadget. It’s been the top trending term for May and the fifth most popular overall search for the month.
Alright let me say this loud and clear, I’m very out on spinner porn. All kinds of spinner porn, in fact. Midgets or fidgets, it’s just not for me. I’m not a gimmicky porn guy, it’s not minor league baseball, you don’t need to sell me with smoke and mirrors because I’m here for love of the game. If there’s a penis and a vagina involved then I’ll play ball. I’m not here for the role play or the costumes or the parodied movies… I’m here for sex and sex only.
Having said that, this does have my mind a-racin’ a little bit. Namely, why didn’t I think of cornering the fidget porn market? For days I tried new tricks with that thing. Balancing on fingers, cool dance moves, even tried to master throwing it from one hand to another, to no avail. Why didn’t my dumb brain think of trying to balance it on my dickhead? Take a boner, mix in a viral trend, and boom, I’d be RAKING in the views. Everyone would want to see me, The Dickhead Spinner, on the internet. Do you know how valuable that 18-24 year old market is? I’d OWN that.
My dad’s always said you don’t need to be smart your whole life, you just need to be smart for 15 minutes. Well, I’m embarrassed to say that I let him down and slept through my window of spinning fidgets on my naked penis on the internet.
