Idiot Who Got Trucked Streaking at a CFL Game Files a Lawsuit
Vancouver — A partially clothed fan who was hit by a B.C. Lions player has retained the services of a law firm.
In a statement released Wednesday, Preszler Law Firm said the fan “suffered serious injuries, including a mild traumatic brain injury, as a result of being violently struck by BC Lions player Marcell Young.”
The fan was knocked down by Young, a Lions defensive back, when the man ran onto the BC Place field during a CFL game between the Lions and Montreal Alouettes on Saturday.
Police have said the man is in his 20s and from Surrey, B.C., but his identity has not been released.
Wearing an orange Lions jersey and a pair of boxer briefs, the fan made his way onto the field during a stoppage in play in the first quarter.
Two other Lions players congratulated Young following the hit with a chest bump and a high five as a security guard apprehended the fan on the ground.
Oh, come on! What we doing here, Preszler Law Firm. I’m all about the rule of law, but is the kind of frivolous lawsuit that gives attorneys a bad name.
Running on the field is more than just a sacred sports tradition. It’s a social contract. I interrupt the game acting like an asshole, I become fair game for getting my skull driven into the turf. That’s how it’s always worked.
The relationship between streaker and athlete is a symbiotic one. A self-policing ecosystem that lives in perfect balance. He runs onto the field. He gets his head stoved in. We in the crowd are delighted by both. He’s got Canadian Health Care to patch him up. Everybody comes away a winner.
Marcel Young held up his side of the bargain. With a perfect form tackle, no less. You no sooner have cause to sue him or the BC Lions than you would to sue a race car if a guy tried to cross the track “Frogger” style or the animal that gored him at the Running of the Bulls. He knew what he was getting into. And not to turn this into a Patriots history lesson, but this is the most baseless lawsuit since the time these morons tore down the goalposts in the old stadium, hauled them off the field, down the ramp, across the parking lot and up Route 1. What their end game was, nobody ever found out. But they learned what happens when grounded, thin-walled steel hits a high tension wire. Two of these dopes were electrocuted, survived, and sued the team, stadium security and the town of Foxboro. And won millions. (I like to think the part of them that got the most damage was their reproductive organs so they can’t piss in the gene pool any more than their already parents did.)
The point is, you can’t go suing people just for holding up their end of the Dumbass Streaker bargain. Getting injured by a Marcel Young is just a job hazard of the life you’ve chosen. So knock off this crap, counselors. Drop this frivolous suit now, before you kill the whole streaker industry.