Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
Ohio – The day after a Muscogee County School District teacher was arrested for allegedly sexually assaulting a student — the third time in less than two weeks someone entrusted with teaching MCSD students was arrested after an incident on school property — district officials held a news conference Friday to reassure the public they don’t tolerate such behavior.
“It’s the third incident, so we wanted to share with the community how serious this is, how we take it seriously,” MCSD superintendent David Lewis told the Ledger-Enquirer after the news conference.
Former Northside High School teacher Kristin Davenport, 26, was arrested Thursday and charged with three counts of sexual assault of a person in custody. …
After an anonymous tip reported the allegation April 18, the teacher was removed from the classroom April 19, when MCSD confirmed that police were investigating the accusation. …
“We want people to be aware of what we’ve done and that these people were thoroughly vetted and that there was no prior indication of these kind of behaviors,” Lewis told the L-E. …
Conducting such a news conference the day after the MCSD Teacher of the Year was announced at the annual gala produced a stark contrast about Columbus schools.
I appreciate that Columbus is as new to Teacher Sex Scandals as they are at playoff hockey. And they’ve got a lot to learn about both. And since I’ve got years of experience in both fields, please indulge me as I try to help them out.
For starters, holding the news conference the day after the annual Teacher of the Year gala was a stroke of genius. No one cares about those galas. Nobody wants to be there. It’s a bunch of aging school administrators putting on the dress they got a Marshall’s to eat bacon-wrapped scallops, get half biffed on wine at $12 a glass and listen to speeches. The Sex Scandal Teacher press conference is the thing that puts asses in the seats.
But enough about the “we won’t tolerate this” and “we had no idea” rubbish. Every school super and prosecutor in the country says that at every one of these things. You might as well just print those words and hand them out. If you want to be on the SST map, tell us what happened. Who dimed Kristin Davenport out? Where did she do the boning with this student? How did she groom him? Was it old school like with dirty texts? Or was it the current hotness, Snapchat? Did she send photos or videos? This is all anyone wants to hear. Save the rest for the press release and you’ll be just fine. But I get it. You’re new at this. I hope you find this helpful. Thanks for listening to my TED Talk.
The Grades:
Looks: At the risk of overstating her case, she’s like a young, poor man’s, Columbus, Ohio version of Christine Taylor.
Grade: B
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Here’s where she gets killed. Three counts of something-or-other. If you’re going to go the SST route, do it. Leave a trail of evidence. Give us something to go on. She’s had over a week and a press conference and given us nothing. If I didn’t mark her down I’d be doing a disservice to all the hard working, diligent, utterly deranged teachers out there.
Grade: D
Intangibles: Kristen Davenport, putting the BJ in CBJ? The Blew in Blew Jackets? Nah. I don’t love it. Columbus just can’t win.
Grade: C
Overall: C. Be better, Ohio.
Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.