Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
New Jersey – The Ewing High School teacher accused of sending inappropriate photographs to a male student also kissed the boy in her classroom and asked to have sex, according to the charges filed against her.
Chelsea Hahn, 25, has been charged with three counts of endangering the welfare of a child by engaging in “sexual conduct which impaired or debauched the morals” of the student.
The criminal complaint said the boy is 17 years old and that the offenses happened “on or around” Friday, the day Hahn was charged. …
Through their investigation, police determined that there was evidence Hahn kissed the 17-year-old on the lips in her classroom. She also sent him messages including nude photographs of herself and asking to have sex, police wrote in the criminal complaint.
It’s not clear why the alleged kiss was left out of the Ewing Police Department’s initial press statement on the matter Saturday. That statement only included accusations about explicit photos and messages and said they were sent via social media.
Well this is a sad end to a promising Sex Scandal Teacher career, cut down almost before it had begun. Chelsea Hahn had the classroom. She had the white boards and the dry erase markers. She had the utter lack of common sense. She had everything but the actual intercourse. And from the sounds of it she was so close before the cops closed in on her and put an end to her SSTing.
She’s like Moonlight Graham from Field of Dreams, finally making it to the Big Leagues, playing an inning in the outfield, but never getting a turn at bat. Her life reduced to one entry in the Sex Scandal Teacher Encyclopedia, Classroom Kisses: 1, Nudes: 3, Actual Sex: 0. Hopefully this isn’t the end of the line for her. Her days of teaching are obviously over. But maybe she’ll go on to some small town in the midwest like Moonlight did, only she’ll get laid by the 17-year-old high school kids she has a thing for. Remember, if he hadn’t become a doctor, that would’ve been the real tragedy:
The Grades:
Looks: When she scrapes off the excessive makeup, she’s a nice looking (I think) Jewish girl. Nice rack on her. A+ crazy eyes. I see no reason why she doesn’t deserve a nice solid
Grade: B
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: The naked SnapChats are obviously her strong suit here, and I’m imagining her naked selfie game is superlative. And that was a valiant effort trying to bone the kid right in the classroom. But when you can’t seal the deal on a 17-year-old high school kid, that’s just a miserable look. So I’m afraid she’s just below average on this one.
Grade: C-
Intangibles: The nose ring is always a nice touch and it’s our second in just a couple of weeks. I’m thinking it could be the new Sex Scandal Teacher Batsignal, that says they’re DTF. Their Batshitsignal. All you students and parents out there, be advised.
Grade: B+
Overall: C
Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.