Flying Knee Folds MMA Fighter So Tight He May Never Come Unfolded

Early on, when I first started writing about mixed martial arts for Barstool Sports, I saw this chirp a lot – “IF YOU’RE THE UFC GUY WHY DON’T YOU FIGHT??? HOW CAN I TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY IF YOU’RE NOT FIGHTIN???”

Ladies and gentlemen, this flying knee is the reason why I don’t, and will never, fight in a cage. I hope you understand, because, you know, if I ever ate one of those and SURVIVED, there’s just no chance I’d ever be able to blog or create content ever again. I don’t even know if I’d be able to eat solid food for the rest of my life.

So yeah – THIS…

…is why I don’t fight.