Dennis Rodman Might Bring Us Peace with North Korea
Source – Dennis Rodman, the NBA Hall of Famer and noted friend of Kim Jong Un, could reportedly be visiting Singapore when President Trump is scheduled to meet with the North Korean leader on June 12.
Rodman will arrive in Singapore a day before the planned summit and could play a role in the negotiations, according to the New York Post.
There has been no indication that Rodman would be involved in the summit, but a representative for Rodman, Darren Prince, told the news outlet that the trip to Singapore has not been confirmed, but that Rodman would be willing to go if his presence was necessary.
“He’s talked about it, but no final trip or plans have been made,” Prince said.
Rodman has visited North Korea five times in the past and has previously taken credit for Trump and Kim discussing Pyongyang’s nuclear program.
Rodman said in April that he helped Kim understand the president in 2017 by giving him a copy of Trump’s book, “The Art of The Deal.”
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It goes without saying that we all want world peace. Everyone from first graders doing a bulletin board with multicultural kids holding hands around the globe to political candidates to every beauty pageant contestant who’s ever lived has expressed a desire for it. In fact, everyone wants it except the white businessman in every spy movie and season of 24 who plans to sell arms to both sides. But there is one thing I want more than peace. And that is peace negotiated by Dennis Rodman.
It’s not putting too fine a point on it to say that a peace brokered by The Worm would be the high point of human existence. A state of war on the Korean peninsula that has existed for almost 70 years. The site of the first clash between Communism and Democracy in the post-WWII era. The front lines of a potential nuclear war for three generations. All brought to a state of lasting peace by the former winner of Celebrity Mole? It would be too good to be true.
I can’t help but picture a utopian future where all the major problems of the world have been resolved and Rodman is responsible. Where schoolkids do projects on the winner of the 2019 Nobel Peace Prize and find out he’s the same Dennis Rodman who won three Golden Razzies for his starring role in Double Team alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme and Mickey Rourke. That the man who pulled us back from the brink of nuclear holocaust fought with Hulk Hogan in nWo, banged Madonna and was married to Carmen Electra for like one afternoon.
And let’s not stop with Rodman. America is blessed with plenty of batshit celebrities who are inexplicably popular overseas. And I think there’s a legit role in our foreign policy for all of them. Steven Segal is famously doing martial arts training in Russia. Let’s let him iron things out with Putin. I’m sure both sides in the Israel-Palestinian conflict respect Gary Busey thanks to his work in Point Break. Iran might not respect anyone, but I’ll take my chances that they’ll respect Mel Gibson. Plus we get the added bonus of every crazy famous person in the country having some sort of a relationship with Trump, Celebrity Apprentice or otherwise. So they’re absolutely qualified to negotiate on our nation’s behalf. Old Tweets notwithstanding, that is.
