Boston.Com Love Letters - My Friends Think I'm Too Hot For My Boyfriend
The Question
Dear Meredith,
I am a 26-year-old woman living in Boston and have been dating my 28-year-old boyfriend for almost a year. My issue is not with him – he has been wonderful, thoughtful, and respectful in every aspect of our relationship, and I can see myself marrying this man. My issue is with my friends. A few of my friends have been very vocal about the fact that I am much more attractive than this man. One of my friends (while she was intoxicated one night, toward the beginning of my relationship with my current boyfriend) asked me why I liked “someone so ugly,” and seemed unfazed by my rebuttals.
Another friend described me as a “10” and my boyfriend as a “7,” and questioned why I would be with him (I heard this when she thought I wasn’t listening). I will readily admit, I am more attractive than my boyfriend, but I have never thought this to be a big factor in a relationship. I was raised to value respect over physical appearance. This relationship has been like no other: he sends me flowers, tells me he adores me all the time, and would drop anything to be with me. These girls have been my close friends since freshman year of college, and I highly value their opinions, but I find their behavior completely shallow. It has left me split about two things: One, if this level of attractiveness in men is so apparent to my close friends, should I care as well? And two, are these friends worth keeping if they continue to act in this manner?
Disillusioned Friend
Meredith Hoss Goldstein’s Answer
Wow. Get some new friends. You don’t have to drop these women forever – they might mature over time – but you could use some new companions. It’d be nice to have some friends who aren’t as concerned about how a boyfriend ranks on some arbitrary scale. It’d be even better if those friends could prioritize your happiness. (For the record, all of this makes me want to say something old lady-ish about selfies and social media ruining the world. I’ll keep it to myself.)
You know what you want, and you love this relationship, so don’t worry about anything else, not even these longtime friends. Years from now, when they ask you why their very hot boyfriends are making them miserable, you’ll let them know that personality counts for a lot, and that your boyfriend’s combined score has been a 10 all along.
– Meredith
Advertisement
Readers? New friends?
El Pres Answer
Dear Disillusioned Friend,
Classic idiot advice from “Hoss Goldstein”. I mean let’s not play dumb here. Looks matter. If you are truly a 10 and dating a 7 then you are a moron. But a man’s score isn’t strictly based on physical attractiveness. That’s how you judge girls not guys. A man’s score is made up of 5 very simple things. Wealth, sense of humor, intelligence, looks and hog size. You need to score each category on a 1-10 scale and then divide by 5 and that’s how you know what type of man you are dating. For example here is my score.
Wealth – 10
Sense of Humor – 10
Intelligence – 10
Looks – 9 (negative infinity with my current red eye situation)
Hog Size – 2
Therefore I’m an 8.2 when it all comes out in the wash. (negative 108 if you include my current red eye situation) As a rule you should always date within 1 number of your actual grade. So if this chick is really a 10 she needs to dump this guy and dump him fast. Of course I highly doubt she’s a 10 to begin with because there are only like 100 perfect 10’s in the world and they certainly don’t write letters to Hoss Goldstein. But that’s a different story for a different day.