Apparently While On The Celtics, Eating A Postgame Meal Before Kevin Garnett Was A Death Wish
In case you missed it, Woj had Kendrick Perkins on his podcast the other day and Perk gave us one of the best KG stories I’ve ever heard about their time together when it came to the postgame meal. Now if there’s one thing we know about Garnett during his days with the Celtics, it’s that he takes his food very seriously. It was Garnett that started the NBA’s obsession with PB&Js. He started having them as a pregame meal after playing well one time during their title run and instantly it became a fixture in the Celtics locker room and later the rest of the NBA, even to this day.
But Perk’s story isn’t about that. He gave us an inside look at what a goddamn psycho KG was at all times, especially when it came to the postgame buffet.
I remember one time, we use to order Maggiano’s, right? And we had spaghetti and all types of other (crap) going on on the buffet line, (crap) was good. So we come in after the game. Everybody knew this rule, right? ‘Hey man, don’t touch the food. Players eat first.’ This was established from Day 1, right? Dr. McKeon, obviously he didn’t get the message. So, I remember like yesterday, KG, he’s wrapped up in his towel coming out of the shower, he’s got a towel over his shoulders … He’s coming out shining and (crap), and he’s like, ‘Hey man, what the f— you doing?’ So everybody turns like, ‘Oh (crap).’ He walks over standing over him with that intimidating like, ‘Hey man, what the f— you doing? Hey man, players eat first. Matter of fact, give me this (crap).’ Took the plate, boom! Threw it in the trash right in front of his face. ‘Hey man, get out of here until the players finish eating man. F— wrong with you, man? I’ve already said this.’
Lucky gets on the plane, I guess he forgot the memo, too. He comes up, he’s getting his food. So KG’s like, ‘Hey Lucky, what the f— you doing, man?’ So Lucky’s like, ‘What you mean, Kevin? I’m hungry. I haven’t ate all (day).’ (Garnett said), ‘I don’t give a f—. You know the rules. Players eat first. Give me this (crap). Matter of fact, go sit in the back of the plane and don’t come back up here until I tell you so.’ So I’m like, ‘Ticket, chill.’ (Garnett said), ‘Perk, what you want with me today?’ … So now me and him are getting into an argument over Lucky not abiding by KG’s rules. So man, yeah, that was the rule: Do not eat before the players. After that, you can eat whatever you wanna eat.
These poor bastards. I cannot imagine the fear these guys felt once KG caught wind that they were breaking this team rule. Totally innocent and a simple mistake, but you try explaining that to someone like Garnett. I don’t know why he got so bent out of shape about this but it sort of sums up Garnett perfectly. He’s a freak about the most insignificant thing and he takes everything about a billion times too seriously. That’s why we love him and it’s what makes him an all time great. Is it sort of an asshole move? Yeah, but remember he basically saved this franchise so if that’s the rule then that’s the rule. What KG says goes at all times.
What I love is that under no circumstances was he willing to break this rule. The poor video coordinator pleaded with him that he hadn’t eaten all day like Garnett was supposed to give a shit. He’s so nuts he was willing to fight Perk over it. Nobody with a functioning brain willingly fights Perk and Garnett was ready to handle business over a postgame meal. I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous that is.
Between Perk’s stories, Tony Allen coming out with some great stories, I need way more content about this 2008 group. I just know stuff like this is only the tip of the iceberg and enough time has passed where we need to air out all the laundry. I’m hooked.
I will say this too. If I am ever in a situation where Kevin Garnett is in the same building and there is any sort of buffet or food option, I sure as shit am not making a plate until I get visual confirmation that he’s already loaded up. No chance he’s changed his ways when it comes to something like this and personally I can’t risk it.
