The Patriots Get Some Bulletin Board Fodder from the Usual Suspects
Yahoo – Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin, had, has, and will continue to have jokes.
One of the NFL’s foremost masters of shade was back at it again this week, taking a dig at the New England Patriots during his commencement address at Robert Morris University in Pittsburgh.
“I’ll proceed with a couple of assumptions,” Tomlin said. “And I realize that assumptions are very dangerous. There’s a cliche about assuming, isn’t it? It can make Patriots out of you and me.”
Oh, there we go. That’s it. That’s what daddy likes. Things have been going a little too smooth for the Patriots this offseason. The optimism, while justified, is running a little too high for my liking. The defending champions have crushed the off-season. Practically without any picks they won the draft with all the trades they made. Even the few picks they did make are being graded high. People are saying first selection Derek Rivers (No. 83 overall) could be the steal of the entire class. Bovada has them at O/U 12.5 wins, the highest total in 10 years. It’s like the rest of the world just walked up to New England, put their collective arms around our neck, put their tongue into our mouth and slipped us a Molly. Which is a little unnerving when we’re accustomed to being the focus of everyone’s scorn.
Which is why this is so welcome. Out of nowhere, some good old fashioned hatred for the Bulletin Board. And coming from two of the biggest haters of the Bradichick Epoch, Mike Tomlin and Bill Polian.
Seriously, I couldn’t be happier that the Pats own so much real estate in these two clowns’ heads. Tomlin can’t get through a commencement speech without doubling down on his “assholes” crack from the Steelers’ playoff win. Like that’s the way to inspire graduates to greatness in their lives. By reminding them you can’t control your own players to not Facebook Live your locker room speech. I guess it beats mentioning how you’ve only got one game plan in your head to stop the Pats and keep trotting it out there no matter how many times Brady carves it up. Or how you blame Belichick when the helmet radios go on the blink, even though the NFL is in charge of the damned things. And Bill (Na)Polian hasn’t come up with an original idea since he ruined football by getting the NFL to outlaw pass coverage in 2005.
So yeah, even during the quiet time of the NFL calendar, this is exactly what the doctor ordered. Good, I can feel your anger. Let the hate flow through you. Everything that has transpired has done so according to Belichick’s design. And with each passing moment you make yourself more his servant.