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Juan Uribe Crashed A Wedding In Cleveland

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Cant help but feel for the groom on this one. Dark Sexy is just about the last person on earth I want schmoozing my wife mere minutes before our wedding. 10 inch cock with limitless charisma and charm. A casual pre game wardrobe worth more than the tux you’re going to wear at the altar. And enough swagger to make a woman give the ring back right there on the spot. I bet she had to change her dress after this encounter. Cant wear white after flirting with Coke Can Uribe. No way you’re pure after that encounter.

And how about the rest of the wedding?? When a Juan Uribe sighting and Will Smith inconveniencing your wedding both take a backseat as far as outrageous stories, you know that was a day to remember. Because make no mistake about it, the Maid of Honor going to prom with Tupac is patently ridiculous. That is the single best cocktail party tidbit of all time. Its the ultimate trump card. The ultimate mic drop. Its the best anecdote anybody can tell. “Oh yea? I went to prom with Tupac Shakur.” KABOOM. Thats the sound of everyone’s jaw hitting the floor. I wish I went to prom with Tupac. I’m a dude and I wish I could tell that story. Only difference is she probably had some sex with him because thats what happens when you drink Thug Passion (2 parts Alize, 1 part Cristal. Guaranteed to get the pussy wet and the dick hard) with Tupac. I definitely do not want to be able to tell the story of how I had sex with Tupac.

All in all, this has gotta be the single most preposterous wedding of all time.

PS – I cant even begin to describe how much I wish we had Dark Sexy coming of the bench instead of Eric Campbell. Words have not yet been invented to describe that desire.