More Details Of The Easter Bunny Brawl Emerge: He Dropped A 1 Year Old On Her Face And Almost Bit Someone's Finger Off

Gothamist - A shopping mall Easter Bunny and a NJ dad are both in jail following a regrettable incident at the Newport Centre mall in Jersey City on Sunday evening. The fight between the Easter Bunny and the father of a young girl gained widespread media attention after it was captured on video by an amazed mall shopper.  Natalie Morianda, the mother of the 1-year-old child, says the Easter Bunny dropped her daughter on her face as soon as their photo was taken. She tells ABC 7 that her husband, Juan Jimenez-Guerrero, 44, “was defending his daughter, not even me because I’m a grown person, but he was defending our innocent baby, she fell face first, and you know, it’s not fine that he could be in jail and my daughter could lose her father for the next five to 10 years of her life.” During the melee, Jimenez-Guerrero was bitten so severely on one of his fingers that he needed 14 stitches. “That bunny became evil out of nowhere,” Morianda declares.

Yesterday we had some unexplained footage of an Easter Bunny dropping the gloves and brawling in a Jersey City mall. Today, the truth emerges. EB dropped a 1 year old on her face and in the ensuing melee he almost bit a dude’s finger off. Important details when analyzing an Easter Bunny fight.

Now on the one hand if someone drops your 1 year old on their face, I can certainly understand why a fight broke out. There’s kind of a social contract when you hand your kid to a Bunny or a Santa that they arent going to break their face. If they let your kid faceplant on the floor, I think you deserve to throw a few punches.

On the other hand, thats kind of on you for turning your child over to some bum ass dude who spends his time pretending to be the easter bunny. I mean I could have told you from the jump that a dude who works at the Newport Mall as an overgrown rabbit probably isnt the most adept child care professional out there. I live the town over from this mall – no fucking chance I’m letting this dude hold Shea.

And you wanna know why? Because he’s a fucking finger chewing lunatic. 14 stitches in one finger is no fucking joke man. You gotta really gnaw on someone to do 14 stitches worth of damage. Dude taking his role as the Easter Bunny a little too seriously. Chomping on fingers like they’re fucking carrot sticks. Guy is like the Daniel Day Lewis of Mall Easter Bunnies. Do not interrupt the acting process or you will get your fingers eaten.

Long story short – Easter Bunnies in shitty neighborhoods are not to be trusted, but if you do choose to go down that road, you have to be prepared to accept the consequences and face Bunnicula in a skirmish.

Yea, thats right. I just dropped a Bunnicula reference on ya’ll asses