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Kim Jong Un Does It Again, Invents Alcohol That Doesn't Cause Hangovers

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(Source) According to state-run newspaper Pyongyang Times, this “suave” liquor is made from a plant extract called ginseng, and uses glutinous rice instead of sugar.  This secret blend of six-year-old ginseng and “scorched rice,” produced by Taedonggang Foodstuff Factory researchers, is what makes the alcohol hangover-free, the article reported.

“Koryo Liquor, which is made of six-year-old Kaesong Koryo insam, known as being highest in medicinal effect, and the scorched rice, is highly appreciated by experts and lovers as it is suave and causes no hangover,” Jong Hwa Sun wrote. “Koryo Liquor” has been such a success, it has been registered as a “national scientific and technological hit” across the communist country, coming first in the food sector festival, the newspaper reported. 

But the amber-colored liquor pales in comparison to a previous invention.  Last year, North Korean scientists released a vaccine called Kumdang-2 that could reportedly cureHIV/AIDS, drug addiction, cancer, MERS and Ebola.

You motherfucking dawg, Kim. The old switcheroo. The good news bad news but I’ll give you the bad news first then drop the good news when you least expect it thus making the world forget there was even bad news to begin with. Bad news, I have a bunch of nuclear bombs and an itchy trigger finger. Yeah, that’s pretty bad, probably the last guy in the world you want to be carrying around a pocket full of nukes. Good news, alcohol that does cause hangovers and what was the bad news again? I can’t even remember? I mean this is everything, this is what everyone in the world has been searching for. If you’re over the age of 27/28 you need this. Once you get to that point where hangovers take days away from your life, where a Saturday night out until 3 am means you don’t feel good until Wednesday. That was just invented. And yes I know the skeptic in you will be saying, but Big Cat, there’s no way this is true, he’s just saying shit to say shit. And while I’ll slightly agree with that, I also lean to Kim’s side here. After all he did invent that HIV, Cancer, Ebola cure last year and how many people in North Korea have died from those diseases since? I can’t name a single person. Kim does it again.

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This is without a doubt a reaction to partying with Dennis Rodman. I can’t even imagine the hangover that must come from that.