The Stat Hole: Stupid Sports Stats From the Past Week — October 13, 2026
Another wild sports week so settle in, let that coffee your holding steam from one hand while you scroll with another. I have sad Sunday stats, a memorial Ditka the player reminder, and we revisit my work on college football field storms as I've had a chance to scour many more years of field storm history. Turns out - Michigan's over Western Michigan wasn't the saddest of them all!
This is The Stat Hole.
We start with Da Coach. My Chicago Bears fandom just missed the Ditka era. The earliest games I remember my dad plopping me next to the TV included Jim Harbaugh throwing some dumb interception and me learning a few new words. I'd watch Dave Wannstedt speak at some press conference about random body parts players had. It would go something like, "yeah, he's gotta leg". Kid me kept thinking.., "I sure hope he has two, coach". Even though I completely missed the days of seeing the camera pan to Ditka's face on the sideline, the aura of his spirit is 100-percent what drove my fandom. Even if I didn't even realize it. The toughness, grit, and most importantly, the loose temper. It all just worked. It painted the picture of a first ballot Chicago icon.
Coaching the 15-1 Super Bowl Shuffle Bears can make people forget about the playing years. So, here's my Ditka stat. Nothing fancy. Meat and potatoes. Just like Da Coach. To this day no rookie tight end has averaged more yards per game. Something you might not have realized with Brock Bowers gaining the most total yards with a 3-game bumper.
Tough Sunday for the first Bears game without Ditka. While the Bears didn't win this one, I bet Ditka was giving Walter a hard time up there for only affecting one Green Bay field goal vs the Bears in the few days after his death. I'm sure he'll claim he blew three kicks wide (two field goals and an extra point). Valiant effort coach. Just please don't try to help Ryan Poles come draft season.
Some more Sunday flash stats. This one is brought to you by the Jaguars who have committed 26 penalties in the last two games and won them both. Just so you know, not a record.
The 2016 Raiders committed 34-penalties in Weeks 7 and 8 and won both games
Speaking of the London game; Let's check in on the Eagles.
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Let's check out on the Eagles.
The NFC East went 0-2-2 this week
I haven't seen the paperwork filed yet, but the NFC South must have lawyers drafting some identity theft claims as we speak. But if there were another division to have such a wildly stupid ending to a game it would be the NFC East. Dan Quinn said in his presser the call was either a throw away or a spike. Which doesn't make sense. You don't call a throw away / spike option play. That's not a thing. Which one was it??? The correct call was the spike. Everyone saying they should have just kicked the field goal fails to realize that could have left at least a few ticks left for the Giants to get one pass to get into field goal range. Don't think that's possible? That's just because you're not Eagles fans.
Still - if you're a 3rd year, franchise NFL quarterback this is one of those plays that can't happen under any circumstance. Ever. Even if the coach is demanding you to do so. Think Aaron Rodgers is going along with that? Arguably the worst quarterback decision of all time. Also - Jonathan Vilma's commentary was hilarious on that play. Find a clip that starts at the end of the prior play and enjoy. It's amazing. Vilma was 100 percent on board with everything until about a second after Jayden was down and then immediately flipped to being completely shell-shocked and befuddled. It's one of the funniest take flips you will ever hear and no one seems to be talking about it.
Shout out Jameis Winston though. I'm just going to go ahead and call this pump fake as the furthest pump fake in NFL history paste the line of scrimmage. It's as if he thought (or wanted to defender to think) he was allowed to throw all the way up the first down line. Perfectly Jameis move. 10/10.
Here's a fun one from the no-brainer game of the week (between two good teams).
This is what division football is all about. Two of the best teams in the league who know everything about each other clashing for an ugly offensive work of art. So much fun watching this one as a neutral observer.
Rewind to Saturday.
College Football Field Storms - UPDATED
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It's never a bad day when Lane Kiffin takes another L. Dude thinks he's god's gift to football. Which I get you could probably say about half the FBS coaches, but Lane is one of those guys on another level. Incredible play on the QB sneak to win the game for Kentucky. Like the seas parted for them. Sorry Lane - I guess maybe god was choosing someone else as his chosen one??
Maybe it wasn't him telling you to give "Conga Line-backers" play on the call sheet a try??
Perfectly ethical field storm for Kentucky here. Especially winning off a two-point do or die. So, let's have a little fun with field storm history in college football. You might recall a little school in Ann Arbor beat the reigning 2025 MAC champion Western Michigan Broncos earlier this season which resulted in the entire stadium celebrating like Times Square at the end of WWII. I crushed games going back to 2019 to see if Michigan's -27.5 spread line was the biggest favorite to storm a field right after the game. It indeed was the most pathetic field storm since 2019.
Now I didn't cut it off there to hide a sadder one in 2018. I just had to stop somewhere. And as I knew would be the case, this tickled the curiosity of many to see how many other gems could be mined further down in the sediments of time.
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Well. Finally had time to dive further. And if you're a butt hurt Michigan fan, I have some consolation for you. I was able to find ONE more pathetic field storm going back to 2003 for games which provided a spread line history (harder to do the further back you go).
Behold Kansas vs Rhode Island - September 3, 2016.
Kansas dunked on Rhode Island 55-6, so they didn't even get the benefit of winning on a last second - sorry - zeroith second play to win the game.
Tough stats to see on the video board of the article thumbnail by the way. One punt returned is sad enough. And they gained two yards less on it than they would have by just fair-catching it. The "Punt Return AVG" is just plain mean to tack on. We get how averages work on a sample of one guys. Thanks for the reminder.
It was so sad and pathetic of a field storm, the PA would have none of it.
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So, there you go Michigan. You have your whataboutism argument. -35 in a rout is by far the saddest field storm the data can find and perhaps ever. But we're not quite done yet. I got another great request that must be explored.
Fantastic question. Here we are shaming the uncalled for storms, but what about the storms that should have been fielded? Maybe we call this the Barry Sanders Award. Act like you've been there before. Will put together a naming committee later. I took to the data and found a few games with no evidence of a field storm. But if you know otherwise, I'm opening up the comment board below for your input. But from my search, UAB vs the Memphis is the most worthy field storm that never was. They won 31-24 as a 23.5 point underdog just last year.
Next is Hawaii over Air Force in 2023 as 22.5 point dogs. UL Monroe over JMU in 2024 as 16.5 point dogs. So, a big jump down from the top-two. I see you though Arkansas State vs Texas State in 2025. 14.5-point dogs winning a nail biter with a 31-30 victory. Act like you've been there Arkansas State.
Back another couple days now.
Scrunchy faces on everyone. It's time to go back to Thursday Night which feels like years ago after Sunday. Have to discuss this Todd Bowles decision.
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Todd Bowles is one of the few old guard type coaches who have yet to be subjected to attrition for their jaw dropping lack of statistical inclination. It's a good thing Troy Aikman wasn't on the call or he might have had an actual aneurysm on air. But he would have been right for once!
You can kind of play out what's going on in Todd Bowles head here. He certainly hears the noise that he's pretty gutless when it comes to 4th down play calling and punts way too often when he should be a little more aggressive. Especially on those short yardage situations. Well. Here's his chance to show the young whipper snapper coaches that this old school dog can learn new tricks too!
NO TODD. NO. NOT THIS TIME!!!
Here's the thing about 4th down models. They aren't meant to account for end of half situations. You can't trust them there. And going up three scores with less than seven minutes remaining makes it extremely more difficult whether or not that's 17-points or 21. But after looking back at Bowles 4th down and short decision making in the red zone, I have to give it to him. Not nearly as bad as I feared it might be. Four incorrect, even though the last one should really make it five. The model says the Dallas decision was right, and is clearly not accurate in that situation.
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Quick couple baseball stats. The Braves went 1 for 23 with RISP vs the Dodgers which is quite sad. Then we had the White Sox who joined the Cubs in being completely inept offensively when it mattered the most in their final game.
That's enough for this week. Bring on the next.