Endless Dinosaurs, Tons of Death, And Anne Hathaway - 'The End Of Oak Street' Is The Horror Dinosaur Movie We've Needed For a Very Long Time
You may have seen me on here once, twice, maybe 15 times begging for a new dinosaur movie to smash the big screen and blow me away. I was so desperate I tricked myself into believing that Adam Driver '65' was worth a damn, but boy was that a mistake. Why is it so fucking hard to make an entertaining, kinda scary movie featuring dinosaurs? Ever since the original Jurassic Park we've been chasing that high. The kitchen scene, Muldoon in the jungle, the T-Rex rain paddock escape, anything raptors, I could go on and on. There are so many iconic, scary scenes in that movie that stick with you forever. It's a masterpiece.
I still very much enjoy the Lost World: Jurassic Park, but also understand it doesn't hold a candle to the original. Everything after that has been a tireless retread. The Jurassic World franchise was obsessed with Chris Pratt talking to raptors and evil corporations either mutating the dinosaurs into a big bad villain or attempting to sell the dinos to terrorists. Within that, if there was ever an attempt at a good scene it was likely just a stolen callback with zero originality. Worst of all, these movies refused to offer up any stakes, sparing every major character's life despite the whole point being that these killing machines were constantly chasing after them. It all just so happens to work out for everybody! Give me a break.
Then came 'The End of Oak Street' like my knight in shining armor. Had I been hurt far too much in the past to get my hopes up for this one? Oh yeah, but at the end of the day I'm a hopeless romantic, just begging to find my long last love once again. It paid off. Finally, someone made a fun horror dinosaur movie. This had plenty of death, tons of dinosaurs, a unique plot, fun action, Anne Hathaway, and actual stakes. Thank you David Robert Mitchell. Thank you J.J. Abrams.
SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT
While I was excited for this one, I admittedly had my reservations going in with the PG-13 rating slapped on it. If we're going to have a movie mainly featuring dinosaurs terrorizing a neighborhood zapped back into prehistoric time, we need a lot of people to die. There's just no other way around it. What neighborhood is well equipped to randomly battle dinosaurs? How would they navigate that effectively with that rating? Well, I guess PG-13 is pushing boundaries these days because you'd think this was Rated R with what they showed. I nearly got out of my seat and applauded the moment Ewan McGregor's Greg was devoured by the Allosaurus (not a T-Rex). Finally a family wasn't guarded by the impenetrable plot armor. That was beautiful. The whole theater was shocked as Hathaway and the family moved away in silence and disbelief.
You know what else I loved? From the moment the dinosaurs get going they never stop. This movie knows exactly what it is and doesn't shy away from it. Whether it's the aforementioned Allosaurus, Pterodactyl, Stegosaurus, Spinosaurus (this was awesome to see), or even the Titanoboa (creepy design) I was smiling ear to ear how they relentlessly tried to wipe out the family. The entire movie you're on the edge of your seat, wondering what's going to come at them next. It's a stressful last hour which refused to drag one bit,
I found The End of Oak Street to be the perfect end of the summer blockbuster movie. I like to describe these kind of films as TNT movies. Could you picture yourself scrolling your channel guide (assuming some of us still have cable in the future) and coming across 'The End of Oak Street' on TNT and throwing it on? For me the answer is absolutely and that's all I needed out of this. Is it a perfect movie? No. Will it win awards? Absolutely not. Did it entertain me from start to finish, satisfying my disturbing itch to watch dinosaurs rip apart humans for a bit? No question about it.
Quick note, Anne Hathaway is incredible in this. Ewan McGregor was perfectly fine, but Anne is a star and you see it easily.
What's also a nice twist is the end of the movie. Do you realize how dark that all was? Even though they're able to bring back Greg at the end after they hop into the past, it doesn't come at a cheap cost. If you put it all together, Anne Hathaway's character pretty much chooses to sacrifice their alternate reality selves down below so that they can have their dad back. Not only that, but they save the characters who helped them survive in the first place like the librarian. Also, the dad who did get eaten alive? There will be zero mourning him now that the family is whole again. That's dark, but awesome.
P.S. Oddly enough, if I showed you 'Disclosure Day' and 'The End of Oak Street' you'd think Spielberg directed the dinosaur movie and someone else botched the alien flick. Total opposite.
P.P.S. What a fucking year with Anne Hathaway. Mother Mary, Devil Wears Prada 2, The Odyssey, The End of Oak Street, and Verity out later this year. Have a year.
