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There Is An Abundance Of Evidence That Suggests Nikola Jokic Might Actually Be A Witch

AAron Ontiveroz. Getty Images.

I know I know I know, it's March Madness. I'm watching too. But if you would allow me to have a brief moment amidst the 12 straight hours of college basketball, I would like to talk about a theory I've been workshopping that after last night feels more true than ever before.

Nikola Jokic is a Basketball Witch.

Now, this is different from the commonly used phrase "Basketball Alien". You know, the thing you hear when it comes to players like Wemby or KD or Steph. With Jokic, we are watching basketball witchcraft. Don't believe me? Allow me to explain


I have watched this play no fewer than 1,000 times since it happened last night and every single time I shake my head in disbelief. What the hell man. It'd be one thing if this was the first time we've seen Jokic unleash a pass like this, but it's not. This is his normal which to me clearly shows that there is some sort of witchcraft at play here when it comes to Jokic's game. The quick turn to see that Gordon is in position in the dunker spot is so subtle it's not surprising that the Knicks defense had no idea, and then the BALLS to throw that pass without looking, through traffic, and have it be delivered in the perfect position for Gordon to be the only guy to get it and finish is as ridiculous as ridiculous gets.

If that pass is more toward the middle of the paint, Brunson is right there to maybe at least deflect it, and with all the Knicks surrounding the paint, that's most likely a turnover. The pass HAS to be towards the baseline, and the fact that Jokic not only knew that but executed it without looking is exactly what I would expect to happen once you start incorporating some witchcraft.

The thing is, it's not just the no-look passes that make me believe this. That's just part of the equation. Ever heard of the Sombor Shuffle? I'm to believe there isn't also some witchcraft at play with this shot??

No chance. That is basketball witchcraft.

At this point, I think it's fair that we all stop trying to explain how Jokic is able to do what he does every single goddamn night the second he steps on an NBA court. You'll drive yourself mad trying to rationalize it. You may want to believe it's a product of film study, hard work, and natural talent. All reasonable explanations for why other players excel in this sport. But it's much easier to just accept the fact that Nikola Jokic is a basketball witch, and we are all currently under his spell. That sounds silly, but again, the evidence is undeniable.

Given the fact that he's more than likely about to win his 3rd MVP in 4 years (should be 4 straight but…ya know), that screams witchcraft too. In fact, Jokic's entire story/career arc screams some sort of dark magic. A guy picked in the 40s somehow becomes the most unstoppable force the basketball world has ever seen? I'm sure that's just a coincidence.

OK, thank you for your time. Now let's have another great day of March Madness.