Momo The Monkey Has Escaped And Is Terrorizing The City Of Indianapolis
Indystar - Momo the monkey is still on the loose in Indianapolis after escaping Wednesday, according to authorities. There were reports of minor injuries from the monkey, but IMPD could not confirm it had bitten someone. Police have asked citizens to not approach the animal.
There is a monkey on the loose in Indianapolis. I repeat, there is a monkey on the loose in Indianapolis. Momo the monkey jumped the fence of his enclosure and is running around, terrorizing the far east side of the city. How did he escape from the Indianapolis zoo? He didn't. This is someone's pet monkey who broke out of a backyard. The owner posted on Indy Pets Lost & Found Facebook on Wednesday that his pet monkey was missing.
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Good luck catching this mischievous looking little fucker. He is a Patas monkey, the fastest species of primate, which clocks speeds up to 30/35mph. He doesn't have chimpanzee strength, but Momo is going full Jumanji on the city while biting and scratching his way through the suburbs.
When I was 10 years old, all I wanted was a pet monkey. When you're 10 all you see are the pros of owning a monkey, you don't understand the cons. Destroying your house, biting people, and flinging around their own shit. Then I started to learn it wasn't such a great idea thanks to life's greatest teacher, the television.
The episode of Hey, Arnold where the class learns about Monkeynucleosis from their A-Sexual teacher, Mr. Simmons, and Helga gets bit by a monkey, so she thinks she is going to turn into a primate was my first introduction to maybe monkeys aren't the best pets.
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Nickelodeon was simply wetting the beak for the knowledge that daytime television would soon introduce. Monkey's will rip off your face. It seems like every time I played hooky from school I'd see an interview with a chimp attack survivor. Price Is Right, then monkey attacks. Maury had a guy on that got tricked into entering his chimp enclosure while he tried to deliver a birthday cupcake to one of his 5 chimps. While the birthday boy faked sick to lure the guy in, the other 4 chimps shut the door behind the owner and mauled him. Even Oprah got in on the action when Travis the Chimp attacked a woman. Apparently during an attack primates go for the hands, face, and genitals. Three things I value. That's when I decided I'd settle for a dog.
Owning exotic animals is total weirdo behavior. Tiger King solidified that theory when it aired in 2020. The most irresponsible people buy animals that require the most responsibility. Maybe this guy should have bought a gold fish to see how it went before buying a monkey?
Sidenote: According to Facebook Lost & Found Pets this is the SECOND TIME Momo has escaped. He escaped once back in July. Also Momo might not be the escape artist we though. Not only has this guy's monkey escaped, but his dog got loose back in September. Time to buy a bigger fence.
