My man Gregg over here seems like a real top notch guy. The type of guy who is there for all his kids' sports games. Never fails to get them to all their doctors appointments. The type of guy who shows up to work every day (that the Eagles aren't playing), gets the job done, and is a real pleasure to be around. He probably helps out in the community, and treats everyone like a friend. I may not know Gregg, but I can just tell that he's as good as they come.
With that being said...kickoff isn't until 8:15 tonight. That means that Gregg is over here spending damn near 16 hours in the parking lots today tailgating the Eagles home opener. I don't care who you are--you can head to an Eagles tailgate with the most innocent and pure of intentions, but at some point or another the lots are always going to win.
The moment that first sip of booze hits your lips in the parking lots of the Philly Sports Complex, it's over. You belong to the lots now. Because one beer quickly turns into 3. And 3 beers quickly turns into "okay I can probably take this shot right now because I still have a few hours to sober up before kickoff". That quickly turns into chugging half a bottle of Fireball and then buying some Jell-O shots off some random dude walking around with a cooler. You stumble on your way over to take a piss between a couple of parked cars, your knees are shredded, your shirt is covered in beer, you piss your pants a little, you check your watch and turns out it's still just 9:30 in the morning.
Before you know it, your body starts to run on auto-pilot and the only words your brain is capable of stringing together are "GOOOO BIRDS".
I have faith in my guy Gregg over here. I can't imagine this is even close to his first rodeo. But again, the parking lots are undefeated. In the lots at 4:30am for an 8:15pm kickoff. If you're looking for some juice, Gregg being able to last the entire game tonight is coming in at +430.