The Harvey Weinstein Trial Features a Governor's Wife Testifying About His 'Fish-Like Penis' and Being Asked to Show How She Fakes an Orgasm

Etienne Laurent. Shutterstock Images.

It's been months since the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard lawsuit confirmed two things we've all suspected. One, that the public has an endless fascination for trials involving famous people. Two, that Hollywood is a strange place where the sort of behavior we norms are used to seem to be short supply. Yes, they talk a good game from the podium at The Oscars and Emmys every year. But behind the scenes, celebrity life sounds like it is dark and filled with terrors. And that truth gets exposed to the light of day when right hands go up and the sworn testimony begins. 

In the case of Depp v. Heard, the allegations didn't get much worse than a pooped bed and cross-complaints of domestic violence. The Harvey Weinstein trial is another matter entirely. Involving criminal charges of the same pattern of predatory sexual assault that has already landed Weinstein in jail. But he wasn't just working in Hollywood. He practically ruled the place like his own personal kingdom. So it only follows that his court case would be bizarre, grotesque and salacious enough to make Depp v. Heard sound like someone appealing a speeding ticket. And it has delivered:

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Source - Jennifer Siebel Newsom, the wife of California Gov. Gavin Newsom, sobbed as she described Harvey Weinstein’s “distorted” and “fish-like” genitals during her bombshell testimony at the disgraced movie producer’s sexual assault trial [and] broke down in tears recounting how Weinstein allegedly raped her in 2005 at the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills.

“I’m standing. I’m resisting,” she said. “Horror. I’m trembling. This is my worst nightmare. I’m just this blow-up doll that he’s just trying to masturbate off of.”

When asked by Deputy District Attorney Marlene Martinez to describe Weinstein’s physique, Siebel Newsom said: “Lots of bruises, markings, yellow and green, lots of stretch marks on his belly, very not physically fit at all. Looked uncircumcised and strange though, kind of fish-like, the penis, something was distorted in the testicles … Lots of skin, lots of skin down there.”

Fish-like genitals. Bruises, markings, yellow and green, stretch marks. 

I think anyone looking at Weinstein at any point in his career just assumed he was that level of stomach-churning, putrid awfulness. But still, I have to admire the skill it takes to describe him that colorfully. The last time I read language that induced this level of disgust was in Lord of the Rings, when Tolkien described the giant, ancient spider that Samwise saves Frodo from. That description not only matches the testimony of an earlier witness:

Same source - One of the women accusing Harvey Weinstein of sexual assault described his penis as “disgusting” and said in court Monday it looked like it “had been chopped off and sewn back on.” 

“I didn’t really see a full sack, I literally just saw a penis,” the accuser — known to the court as Jane Doe 2 — said at Los Angeles Superior Court when questioned by Deputy District Attorney Paul Thompson. …

“Because of an infection, his testicles were actually taken from his scrotum and put into his inner thighs,” Thompson told the jurors during his opening statement.

… but was confirmed by photos the jurors forced to look at. Remember that next time you get a summons for jury duty. That getting out of serving might save you from being shown some fat, bloated, piggish goon's Frankenstein dong and his balls separated from the rest of the package like a two-car detached garage. Doing your civic duty is a noble pursuit. But you'd be better off in a reflective vest picking trash up off the shoulder of the highway.

Now back to Siebel Newsom, who detailed how she alleges Weinstein put on a robe and forced himself on her. How he struggled to get his Frankendick up, and made her use her hand to finish him off:

“Oh, I just made some noises to get him to ejaculate faster,” Siebel Newsom said. “Just like pleasure noises.”

After Weinstein ejaculated, Siebel Newsom said, she was speechless. “I just wanted to get the f— out of there,” she said in tears.

Which led to one of Weinstein's lawyers asking her for a demonstration of the aforementioned "pleasure noises":

Also - California’s first lady balked when defense attorney Mark Werksman asked her how she “indicated her pleasure” during the alleged 2005 incident at the Peninsula hotel in Beverly Hills, where she claims Weinstein raped her.

Siebel Newsom, visibly annoyed, retorted, “This is not ‘When Harry Met Sally.’ I’m not doing that."

Of course anyone in America over the age of say, 35, is going to immediately go to that reference. Least of all someone who's spent time in the film industry.

Giphy Images.

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It's just ridiculous to even ask the question. I mean, the First Lady of California isn't about to sit there on the witness stand making fake orgasm noises to be entered into the public record. One can only assume this Atty. Werksman was just looking for the chance to say, "I'll have what she's having. No further questions, Your Honor."

Naturally this led to an exchange about how Newsom stayed on friendly terms with Weinstein. At least professionally. I say "naturally" because that has been the pattern all along with this guy. He was the absolute ruler of the entertainment industry. A maker of kings and queens. We've heard time and time again that he'd allegedly give his alleged victims a list of actresses that were rich and famous all because of him. And if you didn't play ball with him, your career would be over before it began. And the defense is too smart to not bring up her communications with their smelly ogre of a client:

Werksman also asked Siebel Newsom about dozens of emails she sent to Weinstein after the alleged rape, including emails soliciting support for Gavin Newsom’s mayoral campaign in San Francisco. … 

In one of the emails dated March 2, 2007 — about 18 months after the alleged rape — Siebel Newsom wrote a thank you to Weinstein for including her and two others on an Oscar party guest list.

“We had such a fun time,” Siebel Newsom exclaimed in the email.

When questioned why she would continue to correspond with the man who she claimed brutally raped her, an emotional Siebel Newsom said, “I was just hustling.” 

“You were just hustling to the man who raped you?” Werksman asked. 

For all this testimony, I've only scratched the surface here. This is the SparkNotes version. The truly blogworthy stuff. There will be days if not weeks more of this lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageousness. 

I hope so. One, because it might lead to some sort of rough justice for people Weinstein hurt. But also because the more it pulls back the curtain on the entertainment industry, the better. Because whatever this sick bastard was up to, let's never, ever forget the whole Hollywood world knew about it.