An Unreal Perfect Day, Three Years In The Making: I Got Kicked Out Of Augusta National Twice

Little backstory to set it all up. I've kept it quiet because I'm a big believer in good juju and trying to will in some good weather. Three years ago I got a call from my brother who said he won tickets to the Masters, was I available to go. Of course I was available to go. I'm always available to go to the Masters. 

Then COVID happened. No go for that Masters. Okay, no big deal. 

Then last year happened where it was a draw within the draw. We didn't get that one either. Okay, no big deal. I've waited 34 years to go to the Masters so what's another year? Then it happened. We pulled into Augusta, Georgia around midnight on Tuesday night. It was finally here. 

Let me tell you something. It was everything you could ask for and more. Every story you hear about Augusta is true. Now I know you might be confused because I'm the Kentucky, college basketball guy. But I LOVE golf. Play multiple times a week, watch every week, I'm a suburban 35-year old soon to be father of 2. It's not shocking I love golf. This was as high on the bucket list as one can get. 

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I know it wasn't Thursday-Sunday. But it was Augusta. It was the peak of golf. Speaking of peaks. This course is HILLY. I was given that little tidbit before I got there but it truly does shock you. Wear the most comfortable shoes as possible because you're going to be walking up and down, up and down. 

Then there's the merch store. We hit that first because it was a shorter line. Never seen anything like that. You wait in line, get shuttled in like you're at Disney World or some shit. Then you get in and it's mayhem. Every man for himself. I was catching elbows from 65-year old women for a spot in the polo line. You finally get up there and just pray the size is still there. You say the number of the shirt and size and some high school or college aged kid runs and gets it. Bam, onto the next one. 

Now I know you might be thinking about the headline. Why'd I get kicked out? That my friend is what I learned in blogging school. Simple. It rained. That's the worst part about going to go golf or just golf in general. You have no say in the rain. The first time the siren went was 11ish. I considered myself lucky. Had my merch, had 3 pimento cheese sandwiches down the gullet - yes they are that good. It might be the bread too. First thing I saw inside Augusta was stumbling onto Tiger, JT and Couples on 16. Front row on the green, can't argue with that. 

So we walked out and it was a LONG walk. That's the other thing about Augusta. It's deceptively long. You think you're inside because you get to the ticketing gate and it's still a mile to the course. Vice versa leaving. Luckily we had a clubhouse invite, waited there as I made Rico Relationships for Bench Mob, Reags Relationships. 

Eventually get the alert we're allowed back in and this is where the day truly turned perfect. The par 3 Tournament, we got a spot hunkered down on the 5th green where we could see 4 green, all of 5 and all of 6 plus a little bit of 7. In fact that little light blue shirt blob by the sand trap by the green here is me. 

The Par 3 Tournament lived up to the hype. Fleets' kid stole the show because kids are unintentionally hilarious. Actually it's more hilarious seeing these millionaire golfers live exactly like me. Chasing around a kid and hoping they just behave for like 5 minutes. 

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Got to see Ben Crenshaw take an 8 on the hole. Felt bad, but also nice to see a guy playing at the Masters duff some chips going up a hill. Needed that confidence booster. 

I think the course got scared of Gary Player though. Hit that shot as the siren went off and we got the boot a second time. It was the perfect day. Augusta is everything you can imagine. The grass looks like astroturf. The grass is as green as it looks on TV. The concessions are exactly what you hear about. Cheap, delicious and efficient way to go through the line. Amen Corner is as beautiful as you see in paintings and on TV. The key is bouncing around and seeing it all in an efficient way. That's where we got lucky. Stumbled upon JT and Tiger right away with no one really around. Stumbled upon Bryson stuck by a tree with no one really around. 

I'd wait another 35 years to go again. 

Now read Banks and listen to Foreplay. It's their time.