Barstool Golf x THE PLAYERS Championship Collection | SHOP NOW

Lighten the Fuck Up! The Professor Began the Seminar, "How Many People Believe in Ghosts?"

Paul Campbell. Getty Images.

A world-renowned professor was visiting Florida State University and giving a seminar on the supernatural. There were just over a hundred students in the lecture hall and many of them were local kids who were raised on local farms. To get a feel for his audience, the professor began with an icebreaker, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About fifty students raised their hands. 

"Well that's a good start", the professor commented enthusiastically. "Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, how many of you have actually seen a ghost?"

About twenty-five students raised their hands. 

"That's good. I'm really glad some of you have experienced seeing a ghost… Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 

About fifteen students raised their hands. 

"That's a solid response. Another question… Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

 Only three students raised their hands. 

"That's still a very good response, but I have one last question… Has anyone here ever made love to a ghost?"

One student in the way back raised his hand, acknowledging that he had… 

The professor was both shocked and intrigued. He removed his glasses, took a step back from the podium, and then said, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed they slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience…" 

The student, a Florida native, reacted with a slight nod and a reassuring grin and then started making his way up to the podium from the back of the lecture hall, where he was seated. Once he was standing at the podium the professor prompted him with, "Well, the floor is all yours. Tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost…" 

The student immediately looked confused, turned towards the professor, and in a voice loud enough that everyone in the lecture hall could hear he said, "Ghost? Damn… from the back of the room I thought you said GOATS…"

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968