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Lighten the Fuck Up! She Warned Him About the Dangers of Drunkenness, Lust, and Gluttony...

A working man was on his way into his favorite pub when a nun stepped in front of him and said, "Stop! For the sake of your soul. I implore you!"

The man took a step back and asked, "Can I help you with something, sister? I was just on my way in for a quick pint…"

"A quick pint?" she asked. "Twenty pints is more like it! You were going in there to get drunk, and drunkenness is a sin! And, I know that the barkeep sells dirty magazines too!"

The man was quick to agree, "I'm aware of that, sister. In fact, to tell you the truth, I fully intend to buy one."

"Hah!" she immediately replied, "And, were you going to have something to eat? They serve enormous sandwiches - far more than any reasonable, God-fearing person needs! You're throwing away your soul on drunkenness, lust, and gluttony!"

"Look, sister," the man responded, "Have you ever experienced drunkenness, lust, or gluttony?"

"Of course not," she was quick to answer and then proudly declared, "I am a bride of Christ, my Lord and Savior!"

"How about this" he purposed, "I'll bring a few things out, you can give them a try, and if you're still dead-set against drunkenness, lust, and gluttony, I'll listen to what you've said and never enter that pub again."

The nun paused for a moment and then reluctantly agreed to the man's proposal… The man went into the pub and stepped up to the bar and ordered.

"I'll have a pint of stout, a Hustler magazine, and a brisket sandwich please… and make it to go."

 "Goddammit," snapped the barkeep, "that fuckin' nun is out there again, isn't she?"

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968