Lighten the Fuck Up! His Loving Wife was Trying to Console Him But That's Not What He Needed...
Mary woke up in the middle of the night only to find that her husband wasn't in bed. She was at once very concerned and so she put on her slippers and bathrobe and hurried downstairs to see if he was there…
The living room was dark and he was sitting in front of the TV in his chair, quietly sipping tea from his favorite mug, the one his wife bought him for his birthday just a few weeks ago. He was staring off in the distance and appeared to be in deep thought, which was immediately concerning to his loving wife…
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"What's wrong honey?" she asked. "Why are you down here at this hour?"
He looked up at her and in a very somber tone he asked, "Do you remember when you were 17, still in high school, and we just started dating?"
"Sure I do", she answered, still very much confused by her husband's erratic behavior…
"And, do you remember when your father, the county sheriff, caught us having sex in the bathroom?"
"Yes, of course…"
"And, do you remember how he shoved his shotgun in my face and gave me an ultimatum, 'You either marry my daughter or I'll put you in jail for 20 years!'?"
"Yes, I do. But why are you thinking about that now, in the middle of the night?", she demanded to know.
Using his index fingers, he wiped tears from his cheeks and then struggling to speak he began, "It's just…" but he stopped when he suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion and that's when he put his head in his hands and started sobbing uncontrollably…
"What's the matter, honey? Why are you sobbing? You can tell me, I'm here for you…" she responded in a sympathetic tone…
He looked up, took a deep breath, and said, "Because today is the day… I would've been released…"
*Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968