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The Horny (?) Chiropractor Is BACK And He's Ringing In The New Year Cracking This Potato Sack Smoke's Back

I'm back from Vegas now and I'm broken in every single way. I got dominated in every single facet of life out there. The moment I landed I couldn't even find an Uber or taxi to take me from the airport to the strip, just sat there stranded with 1000s of people almost exactly at 12am on 1/1. NOT a good way to kick off the new year. That, and my room wasn't ready yet so I had to crash on a Stoolie's couch because the rest of my group didn't get in yet. Yes, I realize how weird of a move that is. Paid for all their booze though so we're good. Fuck you. 

Anyways needless to say, my back is kinda fucked and I want to go to this horny (?)* chiropractor to make it unfucked. The only issue is that I'm fat, drunk and stupid and not a potato sack girl like our girl up here. It's a goddamn shame. All I want is to get my back cracked goddamnit!!! Hot girls man, they have so many built in unfair advantages, so until I have a great rack and am lean and slender, I'll just have to live vicariously through them on YouTube while continuing to eat fried food every meal in my shitbox apartment. Such is life. 

*No idea if he's actually horny or just happens to have a clientele of strictly smoke shows out of sheer coincidence (yes I do)

PS - In Verdansk as we speak if you'd like to discuss more possible hornieness.