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CNN Personality And New Yorker Employee Suspended For “Accidentally“ Pulling His “Cock” Out During Work Call

There but for the grace of god go I. I can’t tell you how many times this could have been me. Each day when I finish radio, I sit back in my leather office chair and fire up a yankee candle. Currently, not at this exact moment but speaking more generally, I’m burning an Autumn Scent. Delightful.

While the wicker burns, the thicker “it” becomes. Unbecoming? Certainly but I’m a sucker for olfactory erotica and a man’s desires are his desires.

 You can be a respected constitutional lawyer and professor all you want but, when nature calls, you slip out of your amicus briefs and into something a little more comfortable. Ex nihilo. That being said, it’s impossible to relax while your britches are bunched around the beauty bounty beneath your boxers.

Release the hounds, indeed.

Further, I need to know what he was doing with his penis exposed. Was he slapping it around like Rafael Nadal on the clay courts of Roland Garros or was he simply letting sleeping dogs lie.

The investigation is on-going. You have one day.