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'Mama Barkley Didn't Raise No Bitch' - The Stories Of Golfing With Charles Barkley Solidified Him As The No. 1 Person You Want To Have In Your Golf Group

[The Athletic] - Green: Every day he’s living to go and fuck with somebody.

Derman: Charles was on nine. He was like 220 to the hole or something. He was out of the rough, decent lie, and he was gonna hit an 8-iron and lay up to like 105 yards. I was like, “Chuck, I’ve already got the hybrid in my hand.” I go, “Chuck, layups are for basketball. Come on. Hit the hybrid.” He says, “All right, I’ll trust you.” So he hit the hybrid, and right before he hit, he was like, “Mama Barkley didn’t raise no bitch.” And I was like, “That’s right, sir.” He knocked it on the green, then left his eagle putt like 20 feet short, and we were all dying laughing, man.

Green: You would think this guy wouldn’t say shit. I tell him, “Chucky, sometimes I have to call good shot for some of the shit I see you hit. I mean, you just hit a ball in the air so I’ll say, ‘Good shot, Charles!’” But you know him: “Motherfucker, I’m going to kick your ass. Double up! Bet it up! You coward ass, you ain’t got no heart!”

There's the age old question of who would you pick to have in your golf foursome with you. There are a lot of common answers and one of them has to be Charles Barkley. But after reading this? He's the clear No. 1 pick. Not even a debate anymore. This is the sort of dude you need out there. 

Golf is frustrating as shit. I've been playing for like 25 years and yet somehow I still can't get my chipping yips away. Never have, never will apparently. Just gotta learn how to get on the green in regulation every hole I guess. But the point of that is you need the entertaining guy in your group. You need someone to keep it light. Chuck is clearly great at that. 

And then there's the guy to make money off of. Chuck apparently has that irrational confidence that he's going to finally play well. Been there before. Then you start getting a bunch of bogeys and a double to start. You start drinking a bit more and throw in a rally dip to turn it around on the back 9. That's when the double or nothing comes in and Chuck is going to take that every single time on the course. 

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Clearly the No. 1 pick for my golf foursome. Give me him, Bill Raftery and Coach Cal. Put Cal and Chuck in a cart together and give me Raft so we can drink and make fun of Chuck. That's my foursome, pretty clear cut from my end. I don't care your picks, but you gotta have Chuck in there. 

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