This is a very on-brand blog post for me. BIG Pyramid guy. Fits in with the all the ancient wisdom, aliens, dawn of civilization stuff we talked about with the WontonDon on Dogwalk a few weeks ago when he was in town. Then yesterday the Bears made a move.
And then Bob Reags knew what I'd do with this before I did
These aren't going to be conspiracy theories though. These are going to be stone cold facts. The Great Pyramid in Egypt is the only surviving Wonder of the Ancient world and it has some WEIRD facts about it that makes people think that aliens or the people of Atlantis built it. I'll give you the facts. You determine if you think it was built by regular old human beings.
Fact 1: The Great Pyramid is aligned to 3/60ths of a degree to true North. That is a more accurate alignment than any other structure on Earth. AND…the Earth is tilting a bit more on it's axis so when it was built it was probably dead on balls accurate
Fact 2: The Great Pyramid is at the center of the Earth's land mass
If you draw lines from the cardinal and ordinal(example: northwest, southeast, etc) to make circles around the world, those lines will cross more landmass than if you did the same exercise from any other location on Earth. The pyramid is the center of the world. Is that just a fucking coincidence?
Fact 3: Somehow it is perfectly aligned with the Earth's orbit around the Sun
The Ancient Egyptians used a unit of measure called a cubit. If you measure one side of the Pyramid from corner to corner it is 365.242 cubits. That is the exact amount of days down to the decimal as there are in a year.
Fact 4: The geographical coordinates match up exactly with the speed of light
This is one where my brain gets a little bit broken.
Great Pyramid Coordinates: 29.9792458 N
Light Speed in Meters/Second: 299,792,458
Fact 5: The weight of the bricks
That shit was fucking HEAVY and huge. Some of the stones used to make the Pyramid weighed as much as 50 tons and had to be quarried 500 miles away. How the FUCK to did people without any machines carve out those stones, transport them 500 miles, and then stack them up 50 stories high? It doesn't make any god damn sense.
Fact 6: They used to be shiny
Originally the pyramids were covered in polished limestone. They'd reflect the sun and glisten and sparkle. It must have been a spectacular sight that you could see from a great distance away. Earthquakes are thought to have shaken some of the polished limestone off of the pyramids and some of the limestone was taken down and repurposed to build mosques.
Fact 7: The great pyramid was the tallest structure on Earth for 3800 years.
What a run of dominance. The Great Pyramid was built in 2560 BC. That's before Christ. Think of how long it is has been since Jesus was around. We think of that as ancient. We think of those people as primitive morons. Now double that period of time and that is when the pyramid was built with all of the facts above. Perfectly aligned to North and the tallest building in the world and all that shit. It's crazy to think that people knew so much about the Earth and astronomy back then and then fast forward 4000 years or so and people thought Christopher Columbus was going to fall off the edge of the world by sailing West. Crazy.
Fact 8: The pyramids have air conditioning
The pyramids are in the middle of the fucking desert. They're in the tropics. One of the hottest places in the world. You step inside the pyramids and it's nice and cool. The highest temperature ever recorded in the pyramids is 68 degrees. Which just happens to be the perfect AC temp and what I keep my house at.
Fact 9: We still don't know exactly how the builders made the mortar used to keep the pyramids together. Here is a paragraph I found from an engineering website
…The reason is the super adhesive mortar made to fix the stones in place. The mortar used in the construction of these pyramids has been analyzed over and over again. But the exact combination of the ingredients is still a mystery. Almost 5,00,000 tons of mortar was used, and the strength is more than the stones itself.
Think about this. The oldest structure on the planet with these incredibly heavy stones standing exposed against the elements for 4500 years are glued together by a substance that has been analyzed by all the top scientists in the world and the final conclusion on what that stuff is made of is…
There you go. Those are some Pyramid facts for you all because the Bears signed a kicker named Cairo who will likely cause us incredible pain because time is a flat circle.
Ancient peoples were either WAY smarter than we realize and somewhere along the way we became incredible stupid and lost all of the wisdom. We'd probably be talking to aliens who built the pyramids and living in other galaxies and shit if we didn't take a 1700 year break from math and science.