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Libraries Plead With Customers To Stop Microwaving Books Because That Does Not Kill Coronavirus

You ever want to feel better about yourself after a brain fart? The remedy is simple: hop on the internet and read the news. You'll instantly remember how dumb the human race. It's astonishing we've gotten this far with how unbelievably stupid we are as a collective bunch. I'm not innocent at all to this stupidity. Up until a few years ago I thought a rheumatologist (pronounced room-a-tologist) was someone who redesigned rooms in houses. Laughably not even close, but you know what? At least I haven't microwaved a book thinking that would rid it of coronavirus. Nope, not this guy!

In South Carolina, libraries had to actually beg their customers to stop microwaving books. MICROWAVING BOOKS. I thought this story came from the Onion, but it's very much true. 


The coronavirus pandemic has forced libraries into a peculiar position, pleading with patrons to stop microwaving library books. In recent weeks, there have been multiple cases of libraries posting pictures of the unfortunate aftermath of someone's misguided attempt to "kill COVID-19."

Yes it turns out if you put a book in the microwave it will catch on fire and possibly lead to your house burning down. Shocking I know, but hey when you're dealing with complicated matters here like fire and paper books we need to listen to the experts and follow their lead. 

So where is the logic coming from these South Carolinians and their microwaves? Did these people hear from the news that coronavirus was going to fall victim to summer's heat and die off? Heat is found in a....microwave! Boom, 30 seconds in there, flip it over halfway through, and we're golden. It's science.