The Stoplights Are Far Too Large For My Liking

I think I speak for everyone when I say: what the fuck? Now there are some detractors out there, as there are with all things, trying to claim the woman is short. How fucking short, bro? You know how short you have to be to make a regular stoplight look like Manute Bol? Aggressively short, that's how. She seems like your average sized woman, I'd estimate around 5'4". Which means this stoplight is at least four feet tall, and a girthy sonofabitch at that. We hang these suckers in the sky above us! We're just trusting people to hang these up to sustain hurricane winds and snow and shit only to drive under them? Feels like a risk we didn't fully understand we were taking prior to right now. 

And I understand your standard, poled stoplight probably isn't bringing the thunder like these bad larrys. These are big time intersection stoplights we're discussing right here. Which is all the more worrisome in this blogger's humble opinion. At least with the pole they've some stability about them. You'd need to be talking about earthquakes before I ever started troubling myself with those guys. These bastards swinging in the breeze? They just skyrocketed towards the top of the list. What list? No time to worry about that. We've bigger problems afoot. And those problems are specifically the inordinately large stoplights. 

And don't even get me started on highway signs. 

Obviously we knew these were large. You're driving fast and need to be able to read from far away on the highway. Of course these are large. I don't think I realized they were stringing up the Green Monster every half mile on 95 but apparently these giant metal discs of doom are also just suspended above us waiting for the apocalypse to take out those attempting a daring escape. What a world. One second you're worried about international pandemics, the next it's your friendly neighborhood stoplight. It never ends.