Soccer Player's Wife Has The Greatest Excuse For His Injury Problems - They Have Too Much Marathon Sex
That beautiful couple above is Melissa Satta and Kevin-Prince Boateng. Boateng played for Tottenham, Milan, Schalke among others while also playing in multiple World Cups for Ghana after coming up in the German youth program. Shit, he even beat the US in a World Cup knockout game. But now all I can think when I hear his name is his wife's excuse for why he was injured and how this is now the best excuse for any sports injury:
Stunning Wag Melissa Satta caused uproar when she said the midfielder, then with AC Milan, got injured so often because they romped ten times a week.
Melissa said in 2012: "The reason Kevin is injured so often is because we have sex seven to 10 times a week.
"I hate foreplay, I want to go straight for it. I prefer to be on top so that I can be in control."
10 times a week?!? Who the hell has time to have sex 10 times a week? That's absolutely outrageous. That just feels like you're bragging and/or lying. Also gotta know how this leads to him being injured so often? Lack of legs since she's doing all the work? His stamina should clearly be there since he's fucking at least once a day if not more.
Feel like this should be opposite. This much sex should make him stronger and not as injury-prone. If you have that much energy and can work that hard, it should translate to the pitch. Although the fact that she hates foreplay could be the thing here. Everyone knows you have to warm up. Doesn't matter if it's soccer, sex, whatever. You need a warm up period. You can't just go straight for it. Crazy talk.
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I appreciate that she says she wants to be on top so she can be in control. The woman knows what she wants, nothing but respect there.
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What I don't love is now she's saying she regrets saying this
A rueful Melissa, 33, has now told Gazzetta dello Sport she made a mistake in revealing the couple's bedroom romps. The brunette said: "You can't believe what a whirlwind I ended up in.
"You have to be very careful about what you say in football, especially when it comes to sex.
Why apologize and say you have regret saying this? Own that shit! You guys like to fuck and he's making a ton of money as a soccer player while you're a model. Seems like a pretty, pretty good life! Plus any time he gets hurt everyone just assumes you were riding him for days. Seems like a win-win for all involved.
Also - print the shirts:
"Just because we have sex so often doesn't make me a nymphomaniac."
Bonus: The weirdest excuses for injuries in sports:
5. Sammy Sosa sneezed too hard and hurt his back
4. Nate Burleson broke his arm in a car accident when trying to save a pizza box from falling
3. Brandon Inge went to the DL because he fluffed a pillow too hard for his son
2. Joel Zumaya hurt his wrist playing video games for too long
1. Glenallen Hill injured while sleepwalking because he's terrified of spiders and had a nightmare with spiders involved