Listen I don't want to make a big deal out of this but like clockwork nearly every morning in the Barstool Chicago office, some nice young lady within earshot gets piledrived. Or piledriven. I'm not certain about appropriate past tense but she gets stuffed with authority to the point it moves the ceiling tiles in our backroom. Honestly it's impressive. And maybe normal people would take issue with the distraction but that's not me. I'd be a huge liar if I said I didn't enjoy it.
I'm not calling it world class pipe but at the same time it doesn't take a rocket scientist to measure Dick Velocity when someone's begging for it. Mix in the day-to-day consistency and you can't help but admire his overall body of work. It's literally no different than Cal Ripken Jr. playing 162 every year. Was he the most talented shortstop ever? Absolutely not. Be he's remembered as a legend because he showed up every day, and over 21 seasons that shit adds up.
Same thing with giving your old lady the business during quarantine. You don't need to shatter squirt records and change the game. Just be physically ready to play with a positive attitude and good things will happen. And remember: light ass play never hurt anyone. Now's the time to take some chances and see what works, which strangely brings me back to the title question:
Does Pardon My Take Enhance Sexual Performance?
I ask because nearly every time the bed stops rocking, the stereo starts blasting. And without fail, the sounds of Big Cat start leaking through the floorboards and into our bloggers room. One moment you're writing a blog to the beat of headboard hitting the wall like a kick drum at 120 BPM
The next you're listening to Big Cat trash Darren Rovell interspersed with tangential WW2 era puns. To describe the experience as psychological warfare would be a gross understatement and I'm not here to bullshit you. It's as if he's cumming and hitting play at the same time. Trust me, you haven't seen an instinctive dual threat like this since Costanza was slammin pastrami sammies. It's the kind of seamless transition that one can only get in an open and honest relationship. I mean do you even know how much courage it takes to admit to a prospective partner that your favorite hobby is to blow a load while the new PMT drops? And then the trust it takes for her to be cool with it? Everything about this sequencing tells me that Love and Fidelity is very much alive and for that reason I would like to formally recognize the accomplishments of PMT. Yes it's the #1 podcast in the United States/Americas but have you ever timed your orgasmic cock pulses to the opening of Electric Avenue? From my experiences your girl would love it.