The New OHL Team In Flint Will Not Be The Tropics And That Sucks

FLINT, MI – With an aging Perani Arena serving as the background for a city clamoring for better days, ownership behind Flint’s new Ontario Hockey League team extended the first olive branch. In a swiftly-called news conference Monday, one that was tentatively scheduled for later in the week, IMS Hockey Corp. unveiled “Flint Firebirds” as the name for the hockey team that will call Flint home beginning in the fall.

A firebird, team officials say, represents freedom, oftentimes the result of a difficult journey, and offers significance to residents of Flint and Genesee County.

RIP

Well that sure does suck. We’ve all been waiting on pins and needles for the past month or so to find out if the Flint Tropics were going to be a real team in the OHL or not. And this morning, we found out that all our hopes and dreams have been crushed. Not exactly the type of news I wanted to hear the Monday after St. Paddy’s weekend. Flint, Michigan and the Ontario Hockey League just let down the entire world today and I can’t for the life of me understand why they would do such a thing. I get there was probably going to be some copyright obstacles they’d have to overcome. I get that it would be a little hard to take a team named after a Will Ferrell movie seriously. But I refuse to believe that anybody wanted this team to be anything other than the Tropics. You gotta give the people what the people want, and the people wanted to get Tropical. So now I hope this team sucks. I hope they never win a game and hope they never sell a single ticket. They had a chance to do something truly special, and they royally fucked it up. And don’t try to tell me that a firebird represents freedom, you jackwagons. You spat in the face of freedom the very instant you considered anything besides the Tropics.