Nairobi, Kenya (CNN)Recipients of Nairobi politician Mike Sonko's Covid-19 care packages can expect to receive the typical food staples except for one item -- alcohol.
Sonko, the governor of the Kenyan capital city, Nairobi, confirmed in a media briefing on Tuesday that his care packages include a few small bottles of the cognac, Hennessy.
The governor justified the inclusion of alcohol as "throat sanitizer."
Ah good ole throat sanitizer.
"Yo bro, you wanna take a swig of this throat sanitizer"
"Just pick up a couple of bottles of throat sanitizer and we'll be all set"
"Michael, I found your bottle of throat sanitizer. You're grounded"
I honestly don't think you could make a beverage sound less enticing if you tried. Like yeah sure, the thought of sanitizing my throat is oh so appealing but you couldn't have used better terminology? Esophagus cleanser or oral disinfection would've been my name of choice. I've tasted hand sanitizer before. Who hasn't? If you're the freak who hasn't, spoiler alert: it STINKS. Stinks out loud. So hearing someone call a drink "throat sanitizer" is either the worst endorsement of all time or the most alcoholic thing I've ever heard in my life.
Not to mention the fact that it's just the falsest advertisement of all time. The World Health Organization has been telling the entire world that drinking alcohol DOES NOT help prevent the spread of COVID-19. They've been shutting that train down since people started making homemade hand sanitizer with vodka, other alcohols very early on in this process. I don't think their point could've been any clearer.
This is taken directly from the World Helth Organization website and it's also one of the first things you see when you "drinking alcohol coronavirus":
Just an absurd lack of awareness from Mike Sonko here. To have an actual elected official, in a real-life country, come out and say something like that is just simply astonishing. I wish I could be going through this whole coronavirus epidemic like that. Instead, I'm worried that if I touch anything at all I'll just be the sickest human being on the planet. So yes, I'd much rather prefer to think silly little things like that Hennessy is some coronavirus repellent that we've all been missing.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy for wanting everyone to be at least somewhat informed on what's going on in the world right now, let alone government officials. I couldn't even imagine the backlash that would come out of this scenario had it been an American governor who was offering out mini bottles of brandy in these times. For example, had Governor Cuomo sent out a little care package to everyone containing little bottles of fireball, it would be the end of the world. Riots in the streets. Rightfully so, but you get my point. Still, as long as we stay home, for now, we flatten the curve. We just gotta hope that we're doing it at an effective rate and we'll be all good. We'll get through this, together!